The Power of Indifference

by John

Have you noticed how when you have a girlfriend, suddenly other girls seem to find you that much more attractive? Watch your friends and see how girls' perspectives of them change when your friends get a girlfriend. Irrespective of a girlfriend or not, you are still the same person with the same interests and characteristics. What is it that changes about you with a girlfriend?

The answer is indifference.

Indifference to whether the girl likes you or not.

In order to really be successful with women, you have to be indifferent. You have to give up your attachment to women. This doesn't mean that you have to stop liking women or pursuing them. You shouldn't give up your goals, and you definitely shouldn't give up your desires. What you should do is remove your attachment to the outcome.

This is a really influential thing to do. When you remove your attachment to the outcome, joining your true desire with indifference at the same time, you will be able to be successful with any girl that you wish.

Concern with the outcome is based on your ego – it is fear and insecurity, and the need for security and control. The ideal outcome of the girl liking you, or of you getting action, might provide your ego with a sense of worth for a short time, but it is only passing ... it will come and go. This can create anxiety, as your ego needs further reestablishment and proof that it is triumphant, producing a down-ward spiral.

Attachment is based on fear and insecurity because the attachment is always to results. Indifference, however, is superior because with indifference you have the freedom to create new and better opportunities. Your interactions with women are more spontaneous and fun.

Without indifference, we become prisoners of our current situation. We are more worried about messing up where we are with the girl, or worried that the girl will think less of us, than looking forward to the positive side of what might happen.

Most guys look for the security of a girl who likes them. They say "When I have a hot girlfriend, then I'll be alright. I'll know that I can get hot women and not have to worry about women in the future." But it never works out like that ... ever!

You can spend a lifetime looking for that security and never find it. Attachment to getting women to like you will always create more insecurity. Sometimes, the people who look like they have the most girlfriends are the most insecure, and they have to work the hardest to ensure that they don't lose any of them, and don't enjoy the benefits.

You don't want to end up becoming a victim of your past memories, with the highlight in your life being going over the way that you used to be, of how you used to be able to get any girl, of how all the women used to love you. If you can be truly indifferent to the outcome, you can step into the present moment and enjoy life the way it is. You can take pleasure from all the beautiful women around you. It means that in every moment when you are with a woman, you will experience excitement, adventure and mystery.

Being indifferent doesn't mean that you shouldn't pursue women. You should still go for girls that you think are beautiful and fun. You should still look to try to get their number, or take them out for a drink, or have a good time with them. However, between now and you getting the girl's number, there are still multiple possibilities. At any moment, a more beautiful girl could come along, you could find that you don't actually like the girl, or you could be introduced to another girl who would be ideal for you. With indifference, you can change direction at any moment if you find someone more exciting. Being indifferent also means that you are less likely to force solutions and are more likely to see opportunities.

If someone isn't interested in you, and you try to force them to be interested, you'll only push them further away. However, if you are indifferent to the girl's interest, but would still like to go for a drink with her, you'll wait until the timing is right for her and the opportunity is available.

There are loads of reasons why indifference works. When indifferent to a girl, you are more confident and funny. You give off a positive vibe. You provide the girl with a challenge. All of these traits are magic by themselves. But rather than trying to work on each aspect individually, if you can become indifferent, you create a synergy of all the positive traits of a Don Juan working together.

With a mind-set of indifference, you can be successful with any girl. Work on being indifferent and a new world will open its doors to you!