Steps to Gaining Confidence That Attract Women

by Keenan Cullen

There are steps to gaining confidence -- which attracts women naturally -- but it doesn't happen over night. It is a process.

And if you understand these steps to gaining confidence, apply them, and continue to work on improving yourself a little each day, you'll steadily gain confidence.

Women are attracted to men of VALUE, which comes from having an internal sense of self. There are countless techniques and approaches on dating that teach you how to demonstrate value to women.

I ask, "Why not simply BE valuable rather than having to continually be consumed by thinking about demonstrating it?"

Thinking about doing things to demonstrate is almost like working at 'faking' it. But the cracks will always seep through in the end.

When you have an internal sense of value, women see your value without you having to do things to prove it to them.

Then you just be your true self.

Now, I do think using these techniques can be helpful in the beginning, to notice and understand what attracts women, but the danger can be doing them ONLY to get a response -- this is just another way of trying to impress and being controlled by women.

Rather, start seeing what attracts women as CLUES that reveal the steps to gaining confidence. Then do it for yourself.

Attracting women isn't the reason -- it becomes the BENEFIT.

Step #1: Become Rare By Finding A Definite Major Purpose

Women are attracted to men who are rare -- or 'wild'. The steps to gaining confidence begins with becoming rare.

So what makes a man rare? And how can you take this step?

Simply put, ambition makes you rare. Because when you're ambitious, you stop letting others try to control you or do your thinking for. You develop and free your 'wild nature', along with open-mindedness.

Few people really know what they want out of and in life. Many guys accept their lot in life without a fight. To them, it's just the "way things are".

Then they end up at the mercy of everything in life that is not within their control, different powers outside themselves. These include things like their jobs or bosses, their family's expectations, the social circles or the communities they're a part of, and the women in their lives.

Guys who let these things control them will never be rare. Being a follower in life definitely has it's places. Learning skills means being a student, a follower.

But a blind follower will never be rare. Always know the benefits -- what you want -- when you follow. Always make the choice to follow, with a purpose behind it.

It's a paradox. Women say they want a man they can control. But they're attracted to -- and really want -- a man who is wild... a strong-minded leader. He's in control of himself and his direction, and he doesn't let others -- even her -- influence or control him.

This gives her something to trust in, completely.

How do you become rare? Find your dream. Know what kind of world you want to live in, what kind of life you want to live. And refuse to give more importance to anything else, especially women.

This is the first of the steps to gaining confidence.

Step #2: Become Scarce By Attaching A Price To Your Time

Women are attracted to men who are scarce. All the steps to gaining self confidence lead up to each other. The first step is to become rare by becoming ambitious and defining your life.

The second step happens as you develop your ambitions and put your plans into practice.

Every man's ambition will be different. But find what you LOVE! If you don't know what it is, ask yourself this question...

"What do I enjoy doing so much that I lose track of time?"

With things we're not too keen on, we tend to see them more as chores. We can't wait until they're done and over.

We're just waiting on and watching that clock.

But with things we love, time isn't important because we whole-heartedly enjoy being in the PROCESS of doing it. It's not work. It's fun -- a pleasure.

When you've discovered what you love, invest your time and heart into it. Give it priority in your life above all else. And especially when you get to a point where you're working towards doing what you love full-time to make a living, your time becomes valuable to you.

And when your time is valuable to you, meaning you don't give it to people easily and you don't give it to just anyone, you generate an attractive force.

By placing a price on your time, you realize that the people you choose to spend YOUR time with have to enhance your life. This view carries over with women. They have to enhance your life.

Women can sense when your time is truly valuable. You begin approaching women with a qualifying mindset that comes NATURALLY.

And this really begins to happen when you...

Step #3: Become Powerful Or Influential By Winning Respect

Women are attracted to powerful men. This statement can be a little misleading. Being powerful really means being influential in and of YOURSELF, without any external attachments like titles, wealth, or reputations.

Following the steps to gaining confidence will bring you naturally to developing your powers of influence.

It becomes a necessity.

When you have ambition and you're working towards realizing it, you also realize that without learning how to work with people, living your dream will be unlikely.

The quality of relationships you are able to develop, ultimately, is the gateway to living out your ambitions.

The foundation of building great relationships is in knowing how to give others respect. People trust those who respect them. And there's a whole process to giving respect -- and thus winning respect effortlessly.

The process is long, and I won't go into detail here.

But it is the transitional phase in the steps to gaining confidence for it is here that you start to communicate and reveal to others what's been going on inside you.

And more than anything else, women are highly attracted to influential men. Men who know how to bring people together in harmony with a purpose that benefits everyone involved.

The leaders, who are strong communicators.

These are guys who can walk into a social situation where everyone is keeping to themselves, and not too shortly after he steps in, everyone's become comfortable with everyone else. Now, they may not have been aware it, but he did this deliberately.

Step #4: Become In Demand By Being Attractive To Everyone

Women are attracted to men who are in demand. Looking at the above mentioned steps to gaining confidence, being in demand is a combination or effect of all of them together.

What does it mean to be in demand? Really, it means not being easy. It means you're selective.

When you have ambition, it becomes more important to you than any women. With ambition your time becomes one of your most important assets because you need to bring your dream into reality, and you refuse to give it to just any woman. You start looking for ways to be sure this woman is really worth it. And when you've become a powerful communicator who can positively influence others through your presence, then women want to win your respect.

And where does all this start? With your dream, which starts from what you enjoy most in life.

Find it. Know it. And work it.

Set the steps to gaining confidence into motion.

Women are interested in men who other women are interested in. Women tend to rely on other women's opinions -- especially when it comes to men.

Men who have a strong sense of who they are don't live their lives by their reputations or by what others think about them. But a reputation, to a woman, is important.

I'm not talking about an 'external' reputation here. I'm talking about an 'internal' reputation, meaning how women talk to each other about you amongst themselves.

I don't like going into how women think. It's too much of a maze. But in understanding how to attract women, it can be helpful to know this.

If one woman has a good opinion of you, other women will adopt that same opinion. Often, being wanted by one woman means that you will also be wanted by her friends.

Yes, women are competitive.

So by going through life and respecting everyone you meet, especially women you DON'T find attractive or you wouldn't be interested in, their opinions eventually reach the women you would be interested in.

For those in sales, it's like having a testimonial. And you know how powerful testimonials are in making sales. Word of mouth always wins the race.

And that can only happen by being truly valuable, which you build by following the steps to gaining confidence.

It Is A Process... And Processes Take Time

Following these steps to gaining confidence is a process. And trust me, it does take time. It's no quick fix. It's no get rich quick scheme.

The only people who benefit from those are the ones who sell them.

But if you want long-term success in dating, as well as in life, follow these steps to gaining confidence and you won't be denied.

To those who study success, you know there's a big shift in awareness in the beginning. You know, you get those "Ah-ha" moments. Then as you start following the principles, change seems to be slow -- sometimes for long periods.

But it is happening steadily, even if you don't see it yet.

And finally you hit a period, where everything seems to start happening all at once and you begin wondering where it was hiding all that time.

Just keep in mind that during moments of doubt, remind yourself that the steps to gaining confidence is a process. And it's okay to have days where you're not performing at your highest standards -- or like you did the day before.

It happens... so let it.

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About the Author: Hi, my name's Keenan Cullen, and I hope you profited from my article. I'm passionate about becoming the very best communicator I can possibly be. And if you want to learn more about what I've discovered about dealing and relating with people effectively, visit my blog or sign-up for my free weekly articles here >>