What to Say and Do When Women Criticize You
Can you remember the last time a woman criticized you for something – or at any time for that matter?
How did it make you feel?
And perhaps more importantly, how did you find yourself reacting to the situation?
Did you become upset, insecure, and defensive and argumentative; then start trying to refute her criticism by denying, explaining, excusing or justifying yourself, your choices or your behavior, all in hopes of proving her wrong?
But have you ever stopped to consider what kind of an undesirable situation taking this approach puts you in?
Have you considered that by protesting and refuting a woman’s criticism, it places you in a position where you’re now answering to her, and now it’s completely up to her whether or not she accepts your counter-argument?
But who has the power here?
Is it you – or is it the woman?
In truth, are you now not nothing but a worm squirming on her hook?
Why We Feel the Urge to Defend Ourselves When Women Criticize Us
If you want to be a powerful communicator of a man, it’s wise to realize that every time we take the defensive role in an interaction, we’re putting ourselves in the weaker position. We’re giving our power to the other person, and now they have the control over the outcome of the situation.
But you don’t want this, do you?
So what’s a better way to deal with criticism – instead of defending ourselves and arguing our position, hoping to change a woman’s mind, all the while sacrificing our power to her?
In answering that, let me ask you this:
When a woman criticizes you, what’s the reason you have the urge to defend yourself?
Is it because it makes you insecure and you want to relieve yourself of that feeling?
Is it because it makes you uncomfortable to have her think ill of you and you want to prove her wrong to regain her approval?
Is it because it injures your pride to have your perceived faults pointed out and thrown under the spotlight and you want to save face?
But what does all this boil down to?
Isn’t the root cause of our desire to defend and explain ourselves when women criticize us our investment in their opinion of us?
The Secret to Dealing with Criticism in a Way that Makes Women Respect You
Thus, the real secret to dealing with criticism without losing your cool is to foster an indifference to the opinions of women.
When you truly don’t care what women think of you, when they criticize you, it no longer stirs or arouses any emotion in you. Then you no longer have the desire to defend yourself and prove them wrong, which usually just leads to a heated argument where you’re in the losing role.
But what do you say?
How do you demonstrate that you don’t care what they think, so you can diffuse the situation and prevent them from exercising power over you?
Before we get to that, let me ask you this:
How important is it to you to become the very best man you can possibly be?
And how important is it to you that you become aware of your current faults or weaknesses so that you can correct them, thus improving yourself and your ability to deal with women effectively, not to mention people in general?
If you place a value on true self improvement – continually developing your character and improving upon your personality – isn’t criticism actually a beneficial thing sometimes?
After all, can’t women sometimes see us for who we truly are when we ourselves are blind to it?
Women’s criticisms can sometimes make us aware of our current faults and shortcomings – if we choose to listen to them, instead of becoming defensive and argumentative.
Thus, the very best way to deal with criticism is to first listen to it with an open mind, then compare their criticism with your current awareness of yourself to see if what they’re saying is true or false.
What to Say When Women Are Right or Might Be
If the criticism is true or you just don’t know until you investigate further, the best response is to calmly say:
"You might be right."
A lot of the time when women criticize us, they’re expecting us to start an argument with them. They’re expecting us to defend ourselves. In fact, many times they actually want us to get upset and get into an argument so they can gloat over us for our futile attempts to protest whereby they become the person who has the power to accept or reject us and our arguments.
Let’s be honest, some women get off on exercising their power over men and having them squabble at their feet.
But when you calmly say “You might be right” in response to their criticism, what can they say to that?
It’s like you take the logs right out of the fire. It can no longer burn. The flame is extinguished.
Taking this approach allows you to keep your power for yourself. Instead of answering to women and trying to prove them wrong, which gives them your power, you remain rooted firmly in yourself.
Then, if you’re sincere about improving yourself, ask yourself some questions later...
Was what she said of me true?
Did she reveal a fault or weakness in my character or personality that I wasn’t aware of, but needs to be corrected to become a better, more powerful and influential man?
Criticism can sometimes be instrumental in improving our self-awareness, and self-awareness is usually the first step to change and personal development.
After all, how can we change something about ourselves if we don’t know that we’re doing it, except by fluke?
What to Say When Women Are Wrong
But how about when women criticize you and you know for sure that they’re dead wrong?
Should you argue in this case?
If a woman criticizes you and you know for sure that what they’re saying about you isn’t true, the best way to handle that situation is to calmly say:
"Maybe." Give a short pause and perhaps a shrug, then add, "Maybe not."
Again, what can she say to that?
You haven’t given her any fuel to fan the flame.
You’re not arguing with her. You’re not taking the bait and falling into the trap she’s set for you to get you under her power and answer to her.
Simple, but powerful.
Add These Two Statements to Your Communication Toolbox
Responding to criticism in these prescribed manners will instantly demonstrate that you exercise self-control. And men who exercise self-control rarely if ever find themselves under the power of women, answering to them and catering to their demands.
So I encourage you to memorize these two phrases, and use them the next time a woman criticizes you.
If you don’t know whether or not what she’s saying is true of you, just say:
"You might be right."
Then perhaps think about it later.
And if you know for certain that what she’s saying of you is false, simply say:
"Maybe … maybe not."
If you’ve responded to a woman’s criticism in the past by defending yourself and putting your best argument forward, only to get into a heated argument where nothing but frustration and resentment are the result, and you now try the approach I’m advocating, you might be surprised at how women react to you.
You might be surprised not only at how it diffuses any arguments and allows you to keep your power for yourself, but it actually makes the woman respect you more, because she will sense that you answer and explain yourself to no one.
You keep your power for you and you alone.
And that’s very attractive in a man.