Romance Is All In the Small Details

by Katlyn Eriksen

love and romance

Making your partner feel special, valued, and chosen is one of the key pillars of a good, lasting relationship - as promulgated by relationships specialist, Dr. Harriet Lerner.

It is joined by other key pieces of advice - including giving a sincere apology when it is due, respecting that your partner may have a different way of reacting to stress, and focusing on personal advancement instead of trying to change your partner.

In reality, continuing to make your partner feel special every day can be considered the foundation upon which all other pillars lie.

It involves listening to your loved one sincerely and patiently, with an open heart. A warm embrace, words of comfort, or small acts that let your partner know you are thinking of them can help create a "loving feeling" that is fantastic to come home to every night.

Keeping Promises

Successful relationships are those in which promises - even small ones - are honored because there is a strong link between kept promises and trust.

Think of how it might feel when your girlfriend tells you she will be there to cheer you on at your next tennis match and she doesn’t show up, or when she promises to prepare your favorite dish then fails to do so on the promised day.

When you make small promises to each other, try hard to keep them so that words continue to have value long after you first say "I love you."

Something to Look Forward To

When you have been seeing your partner for long enough and you start talking about moving in together or getting married, the timing may not be right for sealing the deal.

Work and financial matters, or personal obligations may need to be resolved before your plans work out but there are many ways to show your partner they are "your person."

One way is to give them a piece of pre-engagement jewelry or a gift meant for your home when you move in together - for instance, a promise ring, matching necklaces or bracelets, or etched wine glasses. Choosing the right promise ring or gift involves choosing one that is meaningful to you and your partner.

For instance, you can make it more personal by giving them a design containing their birthstone, a gift with a shape or illustration that symbolizes love, or a custom word ring bearing a word that describes them to a tee.

Being There for Each Other

If you thought it was only possible to maintain romance during the early stages of a relationship, think again.

Researchers at the American Psychological Association found that it is indeed possible to maintain romance and sexual chemistry in the long term, whenever you and your partner make each other feel like you are "there for each other."

One way to do so is to try and understand the emotions that are driving your partner - even when you are discussing a difficult issue or having an argument.

Couples often worry about big problems like money but the glue that can help keep them strong in tough times, are the day to day attitudes and behaviors displayed by both parties in the relationship.

Small efforts such as giving a meaningful and symbolic gift, keeping small promises, and showing your partner you are there for them can help romance last.

The more secure both of you feel, the greater the likelihood of mutual satisfaction and of a desire to last a lifetime.