There are tons of ways you can approach your approaches. None are fool-proof because
- Your tone and body language matter much more than the content
- Openers are worthless if you don't got game to back them up
* The 3 Second Rule
So important. As soon as you spot your target, and she spots you it is time to make your move. Don't think or plan, just force your body to walk up to her. This makes the approach feel more spontaneous and you don't come off as a creepy stalker.
* Dealing with Moving Targets
This is really difficult to do because most people don't like to be interrupted when they are on their way somewhere. You are better off following from a distance to see where they end up.
I am not encouraging stalking here! The difference between stalker and Don Juan is that you approach and engage your target in a conversation. Keep this in mind.
* Eye Contact
It's amazing how many people you can actually get to say "hi" to you. All you have to do is hold eye contact with confident body language and flash a sincere yet subtle smile at them. The smile is important, make sure it is a slight smile where your eyes scrunch up a little and the corners of your lips turn up, no teeth showing. Think Mona Lisa.
This is a very inviting face to present to people and it also gives them a feeling like they already know you. Many times they will say hello, but even if they don't, I find they are more open towards me when I start off my approach this way.
* Introductory Openers
"Hey, how's it goin?"
"Hi my name is X, and I enjoy meeting new people. What's your name?
These work okay, but you better have some tight follow-up because you got less than ten seconds before she decides whether or not you are worth talking to.
* Observational Openers
You take in your surroundings and also pay attention to how she is reacting to her environment, then you comment on it.
It could be anything from "Wow, the city sure is beautiful in the Spring." to "Damn, look at the size of that guy! I seen some fat people in my life, but he takes the cake!"
It doesn't matter as long as you open with the mentality that you already know this chick. If you can reframe your thinking to treat these hotties like they are your friends right off the bat, you are well on your way.
The first pickup I ever made in my life was using this opener. I was on the subway sitting next to this hot Asian girl and at the other end of the car were a bunch of rowdy high-school kids who were play-fighting and saying the most lewd and inappropriate things really loud, generally causing a big scene. A few older people were put-off and moved to another car.
I turned to the girl, shook my head and said, "Kids, these days". She was like, "I know! Can you believe how these guys are carrying on? It's so embarrassing!" We talked for a bit about the declining standards of education and how kids were getting dumberer. <-- she laughed at my mispronunciation, and then her stop came up.
As she was gathering her things to leave, I told her that the streets were a dangerous place full of stupid thugs and asked if she wanted to be escorted home by a strong man who would protect her.
I was expecting her to say "no thanks" like all the other girls I had unsuccessfully tried to hit on, but she surprised me by saying "sure!" I walked her home and she said she was hungry so we grabbed dinner and afterwards went for a moonlit stroll.
We made-out in the park for awhile and she suggested we go to a bar. I didn't drink at all back then so I politely declined. We went back to our necking and right when things are gettin hot, she pulls away from me.
ME: Hey, what's wrong?
HER: I think I should probably go home. It's getting late.
ME: That is a lame excuse. What is really up?
HER: I dunno ... It just feels kinda weird cuz I never do this with someone I just met.
ME: Me neither!
HER: (looking in my eyes as if to gauge my sincerity)
Here is when she drops what we call a sh*t-test. Watch as I fail miserably!
HER: You are probably just like all the rest and only want one thing.
ME: What do you mean?
HER: You are just interested in sex!
ME: Well, um....at least I am honest! (BZZZZZZT...wrong answer!)
HER: I am going home now.
Aaaaargh! I still wanna put my head through a wall for messing this one up! I should have accused her of trying to get in MY pants, since she was the one who had suggested we go to a bar earlier so she could get me drunk and take advantage of my lowered inhibitions!
*Sigh* We will cover this tactic of role reversal a little later. For now, let me steer this tangent back to the subject at hand.
* Opinion Openers
Ask for a female's opinion on just about anything.
At the mall "Hey, I need a woman's opinion. What do you think of this cologne/shirt/shoes?"
On the street - "Excuse me, but I am new in town and looking for a nice place to eat/shop/etc can you recommend any?"
* Using Time Constraints
Take the pressure off of yourself by saying that you only have a few minutes to talk because your friends are waiting for you, or you have an appointment, etc. This disarms them from thinking that you are trying to pick them up.
Here is an example from a pickup I did recently on a girl who was eating by herself in the outdoor section of a restaurant.
ME: Excuse my interruption, but how is the food here? Is it good (said in a so-so tone) or is it goood (said in an impressed tone with a smile)
HER: Oh, It is goooood (mimicking my tone)
ME: Alright cool... hey, mind if I sit with you for a second? I am supposed to meet my friends in a few minutes and I hate to just wait around doing nothing.
She invites me to sit and I continue:
ME: To be honest, I am a little nervous, I haven't seen these guys in years and they always used to pick on me for being so shy. I always looked up to these guys in a big brother sort of way. (pause) Say, you know what would rock? When I meet them, I'll pass by again, so just flirt with me hardcore and I will pretend to be fighting you off, okay?
ME: Don't worry, this can work both ways, if you ever need a pretend boyfriend to show off as a trophy, I would be glad to help you out!
HER: Haha, but I already have a boyfriend.
ME: Hey that's great! I bet he is secure enough in your relationship to let you rent a boytoy for the evening.
ME: Tell you what, I have to run, but you seem like you have a good sense of humor. I like that. (Hand her pen and paper) Let's get together sometime for a few laughs, bring your man if you want. Or you can just use me to impress your girlfriends.
Hehe, she wrote down 3 different numbers AND her email and made me promise I would call her.
* Suggestion Opener
You can also give your opinion as an opener. Keep the opinions sexually neutral though. Don't tell her how hot/beautiful she is or gawk at her chest, remember EYE CONTACT!
For instance, at the video store as she is selecting a flick - "Oh man, don't rent THAT one! (pause and let her ask why) It is a waste of time & money! I watched it for like 10 minutes and wanted to shoot myself!"
or on the flip side "That is an excellent choice, one of my favorite books/films of all time! (pause for reaction) If you like this book/film then you will LOVE xyz..."
You can apply this opener almost anywhere people are buying stuff. Just change the wording around.
* Favor Opener
Have her do you a favor right from the start.
Ask her to hold something for you, or watch your bags for a second and then leave her for a minute. You build suspense because in the time that you leave her there, she is wondering "who the hell is this?" When you come back you have license to kino and be affectionate with her because she earned it.
I don't just use this for an opener either. You'd be surprised how many girls are willing to do you a favor if you ask nicely. I find that they actually love to help and are more receptive to my advances because they earned my affection. I will usually hug them and say "You are the best!" and give them a hundred little kisses on the cheek.