The First Three Minutes

by William Perkins

Bare in mind that you have approximately three minutes to make a favorable impression on a woman when you first meet her. I call this The First Three Minutes Of Contact. What happens in those first three minutes will determine whether you are going to succeed or fail at picking up a woman.

So it is vitally important to know how to influence a woman in a way that will bring you the results you desire from the moment you meet her.

The first tip I would like to share with you falls under the heading of PREPARATION. Since you will be summed up, labeled, and judged before you even utter a word, you must pay particular attention to your physical appearance. You do not have to be endowed with great physical good looks to be effective at picking up woman, but you do need to be CLEAN AND NEAT and give the impression that you care about your presentation.

What is most important is to dress appropriately according to the situation. And if you are unsure of what to wear to a particular event, make the mistake of over dressing rather than under dressing.

Another tip: ALWAYS be prepared with a pen or pencil and some paper or something on which to write down the phone number of the woman you're picking up. Nine times out of ten, if you don't get a woman's phone number, you will never see her again. Make it a habit of carrying a pen with you at all times.

The next few tips I offer you fall under the heading of BODY LANGUAGE. Did you know that over 60% of what you communicate is non-verbal? That means your facial expressions, how you carry yourself (never slouch), your hand movements, the smell of your body (use a good cologne), and how you deal with the space around you, all communicate to a woman what kind of man you are.

Never under estimate the power of non-verbal communication. (See my chapter on Non-Verbal Communication in my book, How To Pick Up Women In The 90s! Also check out Body Language Secrets, a best-selling book on body language, also available at my site!)

The most important tip I can give you about picking up a woman is to MAKE EYE CONTACT with her. Look long and adoringly into her eyes. Never look down (a sign of submission, timidity, and weakness) and never look at a woman's breasts when you're talking to her (a common mistake many men make). Women will reject you and consider you disrespectful if you do. Maintaining eye contact also says to a woman that you are interested in her and that you want to get to know her. This is a pre-requisite (according to women) to get to know how she is in bed.

Also, be sure and SMILE! A smile sends a positive and important message. A smile says, "I will not reject you. I like you." A smile combined with prolonged eye contact says, "I like you a lot. I want to know you. Let's talk." Women who smile back at you and who maintain eye contact with you too are those who will be most receptive to your advances. Note: Raised eyebrows is also a positive signal which you should interpret as a come-on.

These next few tips I want to share with you are truly essential and fall under the heading of WHAT TO SAY. As far as your opening line goes, well, that would be a whole article all by itself. But after you break the ice with an opening line, the very next thing you should say or do is INTRODUCE YOURSELF.

For example, simply say, "Oh, my name is (your Name). I'm pleased to meet you." Just use your first name in informal situations, and both your first and last name in more impersonal situations. Then allow the woman you're picking up to offer you her name. Pause for a moment. If she doesn't offer it, ask her what her name is. Then, and this is very important, USE HER NAME in the very next sentence that comes out of your mouth. Using her name works like magic to put her at ease and makes her more interested in you. A person's name is the most important and powerful word you can ever say.

The next thing you want to say or do is COMPLIMENT HER. Call attention to some detail about her, and flatter her in a totally positive way. Be sure to say something specific, that is special about HER. Be polite and creative when dishing out compliments. The more poetic and/or dramatic you can be, the better the results you'll get. Because men lust with their eyes, BUT women lust with their ears!

A lot of guys ask me what they should talk about once they get a woman's name and after they have complimented her. What you need to do is find out what she wants, what she desires, or what turns her on, her passion or hobby. Ask her questions about that and you will have captivated her completely.

Also, always find ways to agree with her. NEVER DISAGREE with a woman when you first meet her. You want to create a context of relatedness, and that's done by agreeing with her.

The last tip I leave you with is NEVER BE SHY ABOUT ASKING HER FOR HER PHONE NUMBER. It doesn't matter that you only just met her. Even if you have only spoken with her for as little as one minute! Be direct. You can say something like, "I have to be going now. But I'd love to see you again. Can I call you?"

Without the all important phone number, you will never get anywhere with a woman. Because to score you will need a date. And to get a date you will need the number. So ALWAYS ask for the telephone number!

William Perkins is author of the best-selling book, "How To Pick Up Women In The 90s!"