28 Ways To Be More Successful With Women
Jariel's Don Juan Tip Sheet
The biggest problem with most advice from the seduction community is that it's so longwinded and needlessly complicated. Therefore, I'm posting my most valuable lessons to date as a simplified tip sheet.
This is the result of all the hard work I've put into my development as a DJ and everything included here comes from personal experience and observations. Treat it as a guide to steer you clear of my failures and point you in the right direction. Putting it into effect is up to you and your efforts.
Self improvement is the surest path you can take to being successful with women, developing confidence and a better lifestyle. It takes time, sacrifice and dedication, but if you are willing to take this route, you will eventually experience the payoffs and be in a position to use it in whichever way you choose.
Just remember, it takes more than looks to be successful with women and self-improvement entails more than just getting in shape — it also involves developing social skills, gaining experience and working on a better way of life for yourself, a lot of which is covered below.
Trial And Error
Study as much seduction theory as you wish, but until you have seen it working, it is just theory so don't expect miracles!
You will hear/read many theories, lies and exaggerations, even from the "experts", so never follow anything blindly. Get in the field and see for yourself whether it works or not! If it doesn't, reevaluate it, adapt it or simply drop it and try something else. Learn from trial and error.
Strategies, techniques or lines merely act as a crutch — at some point you are going to have to walk on your own. The more you practice, the sooner you can do this!
Go out and mingle, spend time with friends and friends of friends, strike up conversations with people, get rejected, get numbers, make calls, arrange dates, arrange group meetings and nights out, and learn from your experiences. The more you practice, the more experience you will gain, and the more proficient your social skills will become and the more comfortable you will feel around people.
If you can't get out for some reason or you currently feel too shy, it's not a bad thing to chat to women on the internet. It's risk free conversation practice and cyber-socializing is better than not socializing at all.
Learn To Move On And Let Go
You will get rejected! You will get insulted or hurt! It's unavoidable and happens to us all.
Suck it up, don't ask questions, don't try to salvage any losses, explain yourself or repair any mistakes... just let it go! Embrace your failures as part of a learning process that will add to your development as a DJ. The more you fail, the wiser and stronger you will get!
A woman may come back to you for a second chance, she may not, but in all my experience and observations, she will only come back when she is ready and only once you have let go.
Get In Shape
Your body can excite or repulse women, it's your choice. Get in shape! Working out also keeps your mind focused and gives you purpose, while weightlifting increases testosterone, and can help you develop a bold, masculine and confident state of mind.
Women Have Free Will
Women can think for themselves, and the idea that you can control their minds with your words and actions is a lie! Not even hypnotists can control people without their consent and cooperation. So stop trying to control, persuade and convince women and learn to accept their free will and work with them.
A woman should be with you because she wants to, not because she feels obliged or because you talked her into it.
Improve Your Appearance
People do judge on appearances, so think of the statement you wish to convey. Men who look after themselves are men who respect themselves, so always dress and groom well!
Look after your skin, teeth, nails and hygiene. It's time and money well spent, because looking good will make you feel good, and will also earn you respect from others. Get some opinions, take some tips from the male models in catalogues and the male pinups that make women drool. Do not be afraid to take a few fashion risks and ignore those who think taking care of yourself is for gays only.
Your diet is essential to looking good and feeling good. Not only does a nutritious diet improve your body, but also your skin complexion, mental functions, health and your moods.
Overcome Your Fears
Free yourself of fear. If you're shy, scared to socialize, scared of rejection, afraid to flirt or go for that first kiss, you MUST eventually overcome this if you ever hope to be successful with women, and you know it!
Whatever the consequences, billions of people have suffered it before you and worse than you, and not only survived, but emerged stronger for it. Also, try to consider the consequences of NOT acting! These are often worse! If it takes baby steps to overcome it, then take baby steps, but never retreat from your fears!
Don't take yourself too seriously. Learn to laugh at yourself and shrug your shoulders at life's trials. Bad stuff happens and no amount of analyzing or worrying is going to change it. It will only prolong it, so why bother? Go watch the Simpsons or something instead. Maybe you screw up a few times. We all do! At least you'll know better next time.
Slow Down And Stand Tall
Slow down and take everything at your own pace. Rushing causes people to make mistakes, speeds up their heart rate, their breathing rate and increases anxiety.
Your posture is very important to how you are perceived by others. A man who hunches his shoulders and holds his head down is perceived as scared, weak and insecure, while a man who stands tall, holds his head high is perceived as strong and confident. More importantly, your posture has a subconscious effect on how you feel.
Learn To Appreciate Your Value
You are the most important person in this entire world! This is your one shot at life, don't throw it away! Respect yourself and never sell yourself short! Don't let people walk over you. If people don't show you the respect that you wish to receive or drag you down, ditch them! It's better in the long term.
Set standards and stick to them. Never settle for anything less than you deserve.
Get A Life
Women are a nice addition to any guy's life, but they are not essential to it. Find something you enjoy doing and do it. Get a hobby, start a project, seek to achieve some goals. Basically, occupy your mind with enjoyable activities.
This way, if you experience a bad period with women, you're not going to be sitting around dwelling on it, calling her up and making a nuisance of yourself.
Be A Man
No, I do not mean a Neanderthal, a controlling chauvinist or a lecherous pervert. What I mean is that you must embrace your masculinity. Don't be shy of flirting and (tactfully) expressing your desires. Women have sexual and emotional desires too and seek men who can fulfill them.
Women also like a man who makes them feel safe, who will take the lead, and who they can look up to. Women don't want a wimp, an ass kisser, a sucker or indeed anyone who doesn't respect himself. NEVER play for sympathy, run yourself down, show weakness or whine to her about your problems!
Take everything one step at a time, hold no expectations and keep a healthy degree of emotional detachment. Avoid throwing yourself at women, pestering them and craving their attention. Avoid throwing tantrums or getting mad at her when she lets you down, and learn to contain your frustration and anger.
Don't get involved in their drama, guilt trips or attention seeking. Women often create drama to manipulate guys, then disrespect them for being under their control. So walk away from it and show her that you are the one with the power and give attention on your terms.
Know When To Exercise Indifference
Similar to the above, if a woman disrespects you, disappoints you, plays games with you or starts showing low interest, respond with indifference. Anger, jealousy, frustration and desperation are all responses that will feed a woman's ego and give her some degree of power over you. Indifference shows that they cannot control you or take you for granted and places the power back in your hands.
People value most what they fear losing or cannot have. Giving her a taste of loss can give her chance to appreciate your value and teach her not to pull any little stunts on you.
Keep Your Options Open
Unless you are in an established relationship, you should never focus all your hopes on one woman. Even if there is one you like above all others, you need to continue talking and flirting with other women, so that if one fails, you can move on and explore other potential opportunities.
Also, it doesn't hurt to subtly let women know about these other options, just to express your value and to let them know you can't be taken for granted and won't be available forever.
Dates Should Be Fun
Dates should not be focused on scoring with a chick or getting laid, because that gives her all the power and puts you with all the other average chumps she's ever dated. Dates should be enjoyable and memorable experiences for both you and her, and should leave her wanting more.
A fun date also distracts from the tension between you, increases comfort levels and associates you with fun.
Being Nice Is Not A Bad Thing
Many of you have been conditioned to think that being nice is a turnoff for women, and you must therefore go to the opposite extreme to be successful. That's wrong! When girls talk about "nice guys" they are talking about guys who are nice with ulterior motives, guys who supplicate, won't stand up for themselves or lack sexuality.
Being friendly, upbeat and respectful can only be a good thing because it draws people towards you. You can be an arrogant jerk and prove to others that you are better than them, but no one likes to feel inferior so don't be surprised if you find yourself very lonely. No self-respecting woman will tolerate a jerk, just as no self-respecting man will tolerate a bitch.
Learn How To Pay Compliments
A well timed and sincere compliment can make a woman feel good, and make her feel great about being with you. It also starts her guessing if she has a chance with you. But use them sparingly and on your terms.
Avoid generic compliments like calling her "hot" or "sexy" or even "attractive", and sexually forward compliments about her body. Good examples include complimenting the way she is dressed, has her hair on a particular day, or about her intelligence, determination, or on how you enjoy her company or conversation.
Learn How To Flirt
There's a difference between a flirt and a leech and it's important to know the difference.
Flirting should be subtle — a light show of interest, such as eye contact, smiling, compliments, pet names, discrete touching and verbal expressions of interest and alike. Then learn how to escalate it.
If one day you're tapping each other on the arm during conversation, then try to escalate to putting your arm round her once in a while, then escalate to tickling her neck and on towards the first kiss.
Avoid Attention Whores
Majority of the problems, mind games and cynicism towards women posted about on the discussion forum originate from attention whores. The best way to deal with them is to learn how to recognize them and then avoid them completely!
Even if you can win them over, it will not last. They will always crave attention from other men, tease and disrespect you, manipulate you, seek power over you, and they cannot be trusted. They are a drain on a man's time and emotions, and will usually damage your confidence and faith in women for a long time to come.
Learn How To Read Signs Of Interest
Learning to gauge a woman's interest through her body language, words and signals can be very useful indeed. Not only do they give you a green light to make your move, but it's a good indication of how well or how badly you are interacting with her.
If A Woman Is Interested, She Will Make It Easy For You
Seducing an interested woman is simplicity itself! If a woman is interested in you, she will make it very easy for you to seduce her. She will make an effort to see and talk to you. She will send you signals and drop hints that she likes you. She will get close to you. She may even try to create opportunities for you to kiss her.
A girl who is not interested, however, will make things a lot tougher, brush off meeting you, turn away from you, keep her distance so you can't touch or kiss her. Time to move on.
While it's useful to know what women mean when they say or do certain things, you should never spend time analyzing. People say and do things for a variety of reasons and your (often subjective and emotionally clouded) interpretation stands like a 1% chance of being accurate.
Sometimes it's best to take things at face value, because over-analyzing is a downhill slope towards insanity, paranoia and delusion!
Keep Your Cards Close To Your Chest, But Not Too Close
In the initial stages of seduction or dating, you should never reveal how you feel, even if she tries to prompt you or asks you. Showing your interest should be treated like a volume slider: if you raise the volume too loud, she's going to get freaked out! So you need to turn it up gradually so she feels comfortable as things progress.
Have Female Friends
"Female friends" is a much feared phrase among many guys, but they have great benefits. You can learn a lot from listening to and observing female friends, how they interact with guys and what they go for in a guy. They also make for good flirting practice, social proof and can introduce you to other women and new social groups.
And obviously, regularly spending time in female company will improve your conversational skills with women and your comfort levels.
Whether you're looking for a relationship or just looking to get laid by multiple women, this advice should serve you well. What I'm talking about here is not a list of techniques, but rather a long-term development. It will take time, but treat every day as an investment in your future and you can become naturally successful with women, confident and contented.
Every average frustrated chump in the world wants quick and easy fixes to his problems and spends his life running in circles searching for them. Meanwhile, those who persevere with their goals will soon pass them by and go on to great success.