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Pickup Lines

I recently queried the readers of The Don Juan Newsletter for Pickup Lines that they have successfully used, or maybe heard which they thought might come in handy sometime. Some of these are pretty good... and others are just funny and/or not recommended. I hope you can tell the difference.

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You dip you finger in the water ring from your glass touch your shoulder then hers and say "Lets go back to my place and get out of these wet clothes."

Well... I have encountered a lot of pick up lines. Most of em were from studying the famous "Ross Jeffries"... how to lay girls guide and how to get the women you desire in bed. I personally think girls like to be romanced. They don't want a plain, "hey I think you're fine. What about seeing a movie this weekend?" They would rather feel complimented such as, "excuse me, but I couldn't help to notice how attractive you are." (Or compliment rare particular part of their body such as eyes or smile.) "And I think you would be the kind of woman to notice the difference between a pickup and a (point to yourself) sincere compliment. My name's (your name)." Then just add some fluff talk or rapport, and if she is interested she will definitely give you her name.

It's all about sincere compliments...even if she is not a 10. With plenty of compliments anyone can be nailed sooner or later... as long as they are not too obvious as a pickup. I don't care what anyone says... girls love to here 2 things... their name... and compliments about themselves. Even though they won't show it... they will remember the guy with the compliment that no one has told them before.

OK, It's a bit stupid, but might work on some girls (at least get the conversion started):

Guy: I've got a magic watch that tells me you don't have any panties.

Girl: Buy I am wearing panties.

Guy: Oh, it must be an hour early...

I'm not here for a long time, just a good time.

That dress you're wearing looks great. There's only one way it would look better....and that's at the foot of my bed.

I met my ex wife at the gas station. She crawled on the hood of my car and scratched her phone number into my windshield with the tip of her 4" spiked heel.

Twas a woman that drove me to drink, and I never stopped to thank her. W.C. Fields

I'm not worried about gettin' ahead.....I'm doin' fine without one.

I was raised on a mayonnaise farm.

I don't want to say she was easy, but she had hinges on her heels and a spring on her ass.

My ox is in the ditch.

Parlez vous humma humma?

It was tighter than a gnat's ass stretched across a rain barrel.

This was attributed to the late Phil Lynott of 'Thin Lizzy' (who was Irish)

"Do you have any Irish in You"


"Would you like some?"

Excuse me. Would you happen to know the time? (I never carry a watch.)

All depending on her attitude when she answers, I may follow with my all time favorite pickup line.

Hi! My name is Julien

Have you ever had sex with a machine? It would be like having sex with me, cause I'm a sex machine.

-Now come on, how huge of an Ice breaker would that line be??

The best pick up line I've used is after some conversation with the girl tell her that she seems "very interesting" and you would like to get together with her to find out more!

Ok here it is:

I think you look ugly but I find you very interesting.

What time is it?

You have the most fascinating face!

Pardon me, but is this your rose?

Approach a lady that you just met and that you are attracted to, and ask her if she believes in love at first sight. When and if she says no, tell her that you hope to meet her again someday.

I've used this pick up line on several occasions and it always has a similar result. First, you must spot the woman you want to talk to and then concentrate on her. Don't spend all of your time looking around the bar for any other women because this will make you look desperate and needy. Glance over at the woman you want to talk to and wait for eye contact. Once you have it, maintain it for a few seconds with a smile. Repeat this process a few times. You have just created your way in.

Approach her with a smile and ask, "How much longer do I have to keep smiling at you until you smile back?" In my experience, this usually takes them off guard. If she is a nice person, she will act as nice as possible and even apologize because she will not want you to think she is a snob. Once you have her smiling, it's up to you.

What will almost never fail me is a gentleman and someone that gets right to the point: - "Hi my name is John Doe and I would like to know you. May I??" And after a yes and her name say something like: "Do you know you have AMAZING eyes."

My boyfriend came to me while I was sitting, and politely asked: May I have the pleasure of seating beside you?

Here is one line I heard that a guy has used, with.....HA, HA, HA, success! "When I masturbate, I think of you!!" Yep, it must impress some of the women out there! However, I'd like to retain my teeth until a ripe old age!!!

My pick up lines:

Q "Do you know why women come with these two fingers (showing my two fingers).
A "Because they are mine"

I believe you are what you eat and by tomorrow I want to be you.

(Making a come here signal with you finger to a woman) say to her, "You see, I made you come with one finger. Imagine what I can do with my whole hand"

Go up to a women, lick your finger, wipe it on her shirt and say, "Let's go home and get you out of those wet clothes."

"Let's go home and do the things I am going to tell people we did anyway".

... ones that might actually come in useful someday.

Don't I know you? That's right! You're the girl with the beautiful smile!

I just have to say...
  ... you look even more stunning today than you usually do!
  ... you are like a flame... vibrant and rich and lovely, glowing against the darkness

To say you are lovely would be like calling the sun a mere candle.

I couldn't help but notice...
  ... that smile of yours is devastating.
  ... you have the most breathtaking eyes.

Outer beauty evident, you also possess a quality that is rare as it is precious: a beauty of the heart.

The funniest pickup line I've ever heard is one I've never seen in any jokes list like most of them:

"Are you looking for Mr. Right or for Mr. Right Now?"

I have one and it may be good 'cause I used it--only once--but got myself a one nighter + dates with maybe the prettiest woman I ever met in New York. These two sit at this bar early in the evening. They're very well dressed. Turns out it is only their usual office outfits, but I don't know that. Many men are eyeing them but are too intimidated to approach. I make a suicidal beeline for the pair and make up an opening on the spot: "Did you guys just come from the Opera? What did you see?" That pleased one of the ladies so much that we started a chat that, well, just never ended.

Here is one that actually worked for my friend Dave...God knows how...

"Do you wanna f**k? Or should I apologize?"

He didn't have to apologize ..haha

Okay, this one is stupid, but I just had to send it to you. Here it goes...

"- Is your father a thief?
- No! Why - she says
- So how come he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes?"

Here's a good one. For those women who wear tight jeans or whatever else.....insert skirt, blouse, whatever.

"Those jeans look great on you.....but I think they would look better wadded up next to my bed."

You start with some line like, "You're extremely beautiful." She responds with, "You probably say that to all the girls." You then say, "You're right, I do, but this time I mean it."

This isn't exactly a pickup line, but rather a passion igniter. It is meant to be used after you have earned her trust. It must be perfectly timed and executed or it may creep her out.

"Tell me your darkest secret and I will show you a dreamworld where anything is possible."

That line has got me LAID 3 times out of 5 uses (with different girls each time). The other two times it creeped them out and turned them off like a light switch.

In my prayers I said on earth as it is in heaven, and God must have sent you as beautiful as an angel.