How to Take Control and Approach Women Without Fear

by DarkDream

I was watching the movie, "The Legend of Bagger Vance" and one phrase really struck me:

"Golf is a game that can't be won, but only played."

It wasn't until last night that I fully came to understand the full import of that statement.

For the first time in my life, I went up to a woman and asked her for her home phone number with no fear. I acted without reflection at all.

She told me, she couldn't do that.

After I left with a smile on my face, I started to laugh, not because of her poor excuse, but because I didn't honestly care if I got the number or not.

Like golf, you can never fully ever win with women. Women will do whatever they want, when they want, with whoever they want. Women can never be controlled, but what you can control is your emotions and response to her actions.

Me getting turned down, was secondary to the fact that I asked this woman out with no reflection: I just did it. I responded appropriately with action to the situation and what I felt. This very act alone defined me as a man of action that could never be changed by her response or not. I took control of the situation by doing what I wanted to do and what was true to me. I alone gave value to her.

I could not control her response, but I could control my action leading up to it. This was a powerful act, a successful act that overcame all my insecurities and left them behind.

The key to success is responding appropriately with action without regards of success or failure.

Dating, like golf, is just a game with funny rules and quirks. Once you start playing it for sake of it and not trying to win it or somehow come out on top (because you can't ever fully win it) then good things tend to happen. Ultimately it is the very desire to somehow succeed that ultimately causes you to fail.

Bagger Vance in the movie, says, "There is only the hole, the ball, and you."

When you begin to see that there is simply the woman, yourself and the movement of your mind and nothing else, then the stark simplicity and beauty of the situation unfolds before you.

When you act there is no fear because success and failure are immaterial in comparison to the act itself. You cannot control the success or failure of the act, but you can control the act itself. In other words, why worry or give value to something (a woman) you can't control but only influence?

It's really that simple. Just play the game. Nothing more, nothing less.