How to Act When Your Girl Dumps You

by Mellow Mel

Dating and relationships shouldn't be a game or a contest between the two sexes, but, unfortunately, sometimes that is exactly what it turns into.

And, honestly, most of the time I believe you have to put the blame on the females.


Well, how often do us guys play "hard to get" or how often do we try not to seem interested, when we really are? How often will we give our phone number to a female and then hope that they don't call us? If they did, how many of us would just cut the conversation short, and hope that they get a clue (leading someone on) instead of telling them that we're not interested, or at least lie and tell them that we have a girlfriend already?

Face it, guys, we usually aren't the ones to blame when it comes to turning the dating and relationship process into a game or a contest.

I say usually because sometimes, sadly, some of our own, who are very immature or bitter from previous losses or just too damn emotional to act like a man and command respect, start or initiate these games.

Anyways, my point is: since females usually start these games (and are by far more skilled than us at playing them) if you can't get a checkmate, at least go for a stalemate. What I mean is go for an outcome in which if you don't win, nobody loses or wins.

If she dumps you, don't call her every day, three times a day, begging her to give you another chance. Don't sit around trying to figure out what you did wrong (if she hasn't given you a reason, she's probably to blame and just doesn't want to admit that to you).

I'm a nice guy really, but I've got to admit to you that dumping somebody really feels good. It's a big boost to your self confidence, your ego, and your self-esteem. It gives you the feeling that, this person is beneath me and I am so much better than them.

Those of you reading this who have ever dumped somebody know what I'm talking about. That feeling is nothing to be ashamed of. It's like saying "checkmate, game over, you have no more options cause I'm in control and won't allow you to make another move."

Guys, it's okay to enjoy this feeling. Don't be ashamed of it or think you're a bad person because it's human nature to want to think highly of yourself. But realize that females enjoy this feeling too, a lot, and get to this point a lot more often the us men.

So, if you see that you're about to be checkmated, and you can't win this game, start looking for a stalemate. Don't call her to ask why she hasn't been calling you. If she says, "I just don't feel the same way I use to about you anymore" respond by saying, "That's a relief. I thought I was the only one feeling this way and I didn't want to hurt you."

Guys, realize that nowadays most relationships don't last forever. Chances are, it's going to end someday. When that day comes, don't fight it because there will be other women in your future.

I know it hurts sometimes to lose your girl, but it hurts more to lose your girl without having any control or say so in the matter (checkmate). And by begging them to come back, or asking them why they don't love you anymore, or calling them every five minutes and stalking them, or asking your friends and their friends for advice to get her back, you're only adding more satisfaction to her "checkmate." When all you have to do to get the "stalemate" is leave quietly, quickly, and without any visible feeling... and move on.

If you're dating another female a month later and run into your ex, and act very nice towards her without showing any regret, and radiating the feeling that the break up was the best thing that could have ever happened because you're so happy now, you may have turned that stalemate into a checkmate for you.

It's not about getting even so much as it is about protecting your self-confidence, self-esteem, and loving yourself. If you don't love yourself first, you will not posses the qualities needed to love someone else.