Conversation Tip: Use Paraphrasing to Really Connect with a Girl

by Zap

I won't get into if this makes you more of a "friend" or "partner," because I don't really know if there's a vital difference.

Anyway, paraphrasing is great. It makes her know that you're really understanding her, and paying attention, and that you care.

The trick is not only to rephrase what she just said, but also add in some predictions of her feelings.

For example, "So let me get this straight... A gang of rednecks in a pickup truck threw bear bottles at you, and made you lose your favorite earrings. That must have made you feel pretty angry and upset."

Women tend to respond to FEELINGS rather than words. When she hears you're understanding her feelings, she'll feel very connected with you. I swear this works, because...

A couple weeks ago I had a date, and I figured it was just decent. No big deal, we talked, ate, and walked. She later told me that just from our hour of conversation that I was one of the few people she ever felt connected with.

I was totally surprised, because I thought our conversation was pretty mundane. All I did was ask questions, and occasionally paraphrase. But it turns out what was not a big deal and easy for me made a huge impact on her.

I completely credit my success there to paraphrasing, and of course listening intently.