First Date Conversation Tips
There are a few things that psychologists can help us with:
- People tend to marry people highly similar in the looks category.
- Women strive to marry "up" in general.
- People of dissimilar intelligence quotients and severely different values/interests don't have a strong enough connection/emotional bond to keep the interest level high.
That's why my goal on EVERY first date is to see if we challenge each other intellectually.
I always do a first date at a table — coffee or dinner — where I can look directly at her and see how she thinks/talks. In short, I want to know if she has enough brains/wit to interest me for an hour of conversation.
If this fails, usually you are building a relationship based on the WRONG thing.
Some GOOD signs from that hour of conversation:
- She's comfortable switching from light topics (movies, college majors) to heavy duty stuff (concepts, ideas, politics) without missing a beat, and she's articulate enough to express her points logically.
- She has an interesting life. If I figure out at this point that her major interests are clubbing, a cat, and Britney Spears, then I've only wasted an hour.
- You both ask each other open ended questions. If I ask her a good question (how do you feel about being an only child?), and she comes up with "never thought about it", I've only wasted an hour.
- After the initial nervousness, you find a comfort level in talking. It's not forced. You connect. AT this point, you're "matching" intelligence information to see if you are compatible.