The Essence of the "Nice Guy"

by Pook

Behind all the talk, what is the essence of the "nice guy?"

It is a guy who wishes he was a girl.

Seriously! I hear nice guys say all the time, "Why do I have to ask her out? Why can't she ask me out?"

Because YOU are the MAN. And the MAN is to take initiative.

Women want a MAN, not a girly guy. Quit being passive and seize the day. Nice guys need to utilize themselves and spread their mack down.

How do you do this?

It's not going to happen in a day, so please don't get disappointed with early failures. It will happen in time.

- Quit being so sensitive!

Being AWARE is good, such as aware of your girlfriend's feelings, but don't be so sensitive.

There is a time to be sweet and buttery with your feelings, but she must bring it out. Don't vomit your emotions on her; it's gross! Show, don't tell your feelings except on rare occasions.

- Expect success!

Nice guys are often pessimistic and their failures are mostly a result of self-fulfilling prophecy.

Some guys, which I confess I am one, actually fear success. We think, "If I ask her out and she says yes, THEN what?" Since we don't want or fear Step 5, we opt out on Step 1 and create our own failures for us. Stop it!

- Acknowledge your sexuality!

How would you feel taking off your shirt surrounded by beautiful women? Not comfortable? WHY!?

You say, "But Pook, she will see my scrawny body with my scrawny chicken thin arms and my bony ribs!" Eww! Put some muscle on and make yourself physically fit to go shirtless around women. If you're not comfortable about your body, why the heck would a woman desire it or you?

How would you feel being trapped with several women that you HAD to talk to for several hours? Would you be comfortable? If not, WHY?

You need to get some personality, for that is what women want even more then a hard body!

A fool talks about other people, a nice guy stays quiet and girly, a jerk talks about himself, but a Don Juan talks about HER. Make her the object of the conversation and she'll love it because you are discussing the most important subject in the universe: HER!

If you're not comfortable in either of these situations, you need to self-actualize yourself a bit more. Remember that confidence is not a guy thinking, "Confidence!" in his head. It is simply feeling GREAT about life and COMFORTABLE in what you do. The word confidence does not even spring into your mind.

Love life and life will love you.

I was a nice guy. I'm sure most of us were nice guys at some point in our lives. Unfortunately, no one taught us that being a nice guy was bad. We simply realized this when all the jerks had chicks, when we could hug only air.

So what's the process of growing out of a nice guy?

Nice Guyius Maximus - wishes he was a girl, that girls would ask him out. Will not confront. Extremely sensitive, extremely emotional, easily infatuated. Wants to marry the girl after the first date.

Bitter Guy - realization of the nice guy being last, but still unable to fully embrace reality. This guy is realizing that what he thought was never reality and will never be reality. Bitter Guy ends when he understands that it is time to act like a MAN.

Decent Guy - still not able to utilize himself fully, still unable to fully propel his personality. Yet, he is now able to control his feelings. He stops getting easily infatuated, he stops telling the girl how he feels. He understands the Romance Game now, and is observing everything so he can jump in and play too. It's only a matter of time before he becomes...

Neat Guy - he has become comfortable with women, with even approaching women some of the time. Yet, still, he doesn't have that charm, that knack. If he keeps trying (i.e. getting rejected) he will eventually become...

Good Guy - Yes! This is what the girls are looking for. Men make towers, women cast webs. While men are stimulated through our eyes (such as in, "Mmmm... Hot chick!"), women are stimulated through their ears, through social contact ("He is so cool, fun, and smart!"). Good guys charm naturally; it requires no effort.

** Unfortunately, many former nice-guys don't get past their insecurity. They realize the methods but not the inner core. They begin to swing to the opposite extreme...

Jerk - cares about only one thing. His charm has deteriorated due to him taking things for granted (his looks, his confidence, all pulling in chicks).

The Player - everything revolves around sex. The Player will do everything possible to obtain it short of force -- from mind games, to hypnosis, all his intellect goes into the task of getting girls.

You might ask, "What is wrong with this?"

All their time and energy could have gone into their talents and skills so that they could fulfill their potential in life. My term for the player is 'pu$$y-whipped'. The player must have many women because he is afraid he cannot be loved by one.

It's all in your mind, every bit. Change the way you think, and the world will seemingly change around you, for as you think you shall become!