Empower Your Voice
"It's not what you say, it's HOW you say it."
Two people can say the same exact words and get totally opposite reactions. Why? What makes others embrace or reject your words?
Well there are several elements of successful delivery and they are very subtle! One of them is how you speak with your body, but we will get into that in a bit. On the vocal tip, there are a number of ways that you can communicate more effectively.
This was a huge problem for me. Even when I had something interesting to say, people would ignore me because my voice was weak and nasally. I knew something was wrong with me, but it took the help of one of my good friends, who is an actor, to pinpoint the problem.
He taught me this simple yet effective exercise that transformed my voice from dud to stud.
1. Take a deep breath using your diaphragm. You do this by paying attention to your gut. When you breathe in, your chest should not rise, rather your stomach should rise. Envision your belly button moving AWAY from your spine as you inhale. Breathe in slowly and deeply.
2. Once your lungs are filled, open your mouth and say "ahhhh" at a comfortable pitch, as you are making this sound, close your mouth so it becomes "Mmmmm"
3. Sustain the sound of your voice but gradually lower your pitch. When done correctly, you will feel a vibration travel from your throat all the way down to your gut. Change your pitch up and down until you can feel a line of vibration stretching from your belly to your throat.
When you have honed in on the strongest vibes, you are generating what scientists refer to as "Sympathetic Frequency". It is the optimum vibration that makes your body resonate with the sound of your voice, giving it a much fuller and richer sound.
I did this exercise every day until I got comfortable with my frequency and it made a HUGE difference! Everything I said took on a new meaning and I found that more people wanted to listen to me.
Fluctuate your pitch. Nobody wants to listen to a monotonous drone!
The most engaging speakers modulate their voices and their speech becomes almost song-like. Listen to any great talk show host, actor or comedian and try to mimic their "song" by humming it. This exercise opened a new world of communication for me!
While you are working on your dynamics, pay attention to how you end your sentences. If you tend to finish them on a higher note your statements will sound like questions and you will seem unsure of yourself (???) Practice getting your downswing on so people don't think you are some wishy-washy pansy-a$$.
Trynottotalktoofast and bunchallyourwordstogetherinonebreath, it is unnerving and makes whatever you say seem trivial.
Keep your tone slow and deliberate, let those words pour from your throat like honey. Pause for effect often throughout your convos, especially before the high points. Watch politicians, preachers and great storytellers and you will see that dramatic pauses are a great way to make people ................ anticipate your words!
I discovered I had this problem when I got this crazy idea to record a daily journal on tape. When I played my voice back I was surprised by some disturbing patterns in my speech.
At first it was subtle, you know? I uh, really didn't notice anything unusual. Um, but as I uh, listened, I found that my uh, sentences where um peppered with what I call Brain Farts. So many 'uh's um's and 'you know's were covering up the fact that I was not thinking in complete sentences.
It is really annoying when people do this because you can tell they are just talking out of their a$$es. Amazing what a difference it makes to think before you speak!
NOTE: I highly recommend recording your voice and listening to yourself. It's a great way to improve on your weaknesses.
Learn to really enjoy the sound and feeling of your own voice. When speaking with hot babes, try to imagine that the vibration of your vocal chords are giving her ears a slow, sensual massage.
Did you know that the low frequency of a male voice is capable of making other peoples' bodies vibrate subtly? Just like when your neighbors are throwing a party and all you can hear is the "Thump Thump Thump" but all the high frequencies are cut off.
Your tone can travel and penetrate everything around you, including that fine HB you are chatting up. Aint it grand to be a man?
When you really want to go in for the kill, get closer to her and soften your tone, project like before but make it raspier, softer, SEXIER.
As the series progresses we will get into the sort of things you should be saying, but for now, let's focus on topics that you should try to avoid.
You want to project a fun and easy going vibe so don't bring the following topics up, and if SHE starts talking about them, humor her but change the subject, because these may be stimulating convos to have with a buddy, but they will not have the desired effect on the girl. Trust me! I used to make this mistake all the time.
Try to steer clear of:
- Conspiracy Theories
- Sad Themes (World hunger, war, disease, etc)
- Bitter Themes (she won't wanna hear what an idiot your ex was)
- Technobabble (girls are not impressed by your coding abilities)
- In other words, anything NEGATIVE or BORING!