Seduction First - Romance Second
The hardest lesson boys make when growing into men is the disaster associated with focusing on relationship first, sex second.
A boy, as in the unenlightened, figures if he tries for a relationship with a woman first, sex will naturally follow. He is guided by conventional societal wisdom, mind you in a weak and demasculinized society, to strive for romance and intellect with the object of his desire (e.g. courting, chivalry, dealing with "relationship stuff").
The hard lesson hits him to the core when, repeatedly with women for whom he cared the world over, things go down the crapper before ever reaching exclusivity, leaving him hornier than ever, hence his bonding with Hugh Hefner.
He was "too boring," "too serious," "not exciting enough," "a turn off," "was one inch too short."
People are naturally resistant to change; they would rather have their life stay the same rather than face the uncertainty of change.
When you meet a woman, she secretly seeks reasons you are not good enough for her, not because she necessarily believes you are not good enough for her, but rather to fuel rationalizations to keep you out of her life. By process of cognitive dissonance when there are two conflicting facts, your brain rationalizes away the difference.
Fact 1) Her life is stable and routine.
Fact 2) You are an uncertain and unknown quantity.
Because of fear of the unknown, her brain seeks out any reason, no matter how trivial, to justify why you shouldn't be a part of her life. Eventually she will find a reason. How high her interest in you is will determine how long until her rationalizations outweigh her interest and she ditches you.
I once heard of a woman who dumped a man because he wore white socks. What man does not wear white socks?
But wait! There's hope!
You can short-circuit her seeking of faults and stop the ticking of the clock by doing one simple thing-- have sex. For your own sake, engage in sex as expeditiously as possible; spend the least amount of time with a woman before dating her, before banging her.
Women never develop any true feelings for a guy until after sex. "Women use sex to get to love." Sex releases chemicals in her brain creating an emotional bond with the man and thereafter the rules of the game are entirely switched.
The phenomena of unequivocal disconfirmation happens when someone makes a decision and will stick by that decision, no matter how illogical, just because they made the decision. Unequivocal disconfirmation comes hand-in-hand with cognitive dissonance; no longer will she seek reasons to ditch you, rather she will seek reasons to keep you in her life.
When faults of yours are found, she will rationalize the faults away by means of cognitive dissonance (e.g. your lack of style "can be changed"). This best explains why jerks maintain relationships with women, no matter how illogical the relationship appears from an outside view.
Boys learn the hard lesson that all those women they secretly fell heads over heels for didn't give a damn in the world for them, as those very women cling onto men who got inside their panties, and inside them.
Before sex : You -- high interest, she -- low to moderate interest.
After sex: She -- high interest, you -- low to moderate interest.
Before sex: Women never call.
After sex: Buy caller ID.
Before sex: You want to hear the phone ring.
After sex: She wants to hear wedding bells ring.
Before sex: You pay, pay, pay.
After sex: It's "equality".
Before sex: No dinner below $20 will suffice.
After sex: McDonald's is fine.
Before sex: You chase her.
After sex: She chases you.
Before sex: She's only one out of many.
After sex: She wants to be your one.
Before sex: You worry about her friends.
After sex: She worries about your friends.
Before sex: Hugh Hefner your best friend.
After sex: Hugh Hefner banned.
It's simple: Seduction First - Romance Second.