How to Make Her Feel Great When You're Around

by Giovanni Casanova

In one of the most famous psychological experiments of all time, Russian Nobel-Prize winner Ivan Pavlov proved a phenomenon we know as "classical conditioning" or "association." Perhaps you have heard of the experiment.

Pavlov rigged dogs with a device that would collect saliva. When he fed the dogs, they salivated. This is a natural, reflexive response. It is not learned, it is pretty much instinctive.

Pavlov then added an extra step. He would feed the dogs and simultaneously ring a bell. The dogs, as before, would salivate upon being fed. After doing this for a period of time, Pavlov rang the bell without feeding the dogs. THE DOGS SALIVATED ANYWAY. The dogs had been "conditioned" to associate the bell ringing with the food, which then triggered the reflexive response (salivation).

So what does this have to do with being successful with women?


Women are Pavlov's dogs. In fact, we all are Pavlov's dogs. We associate pretty much everything.

Have you ever caught a whiff of a perfume that reminded you of your ex, because she used to wear it? You associate that particular scent with your ex. For a long time, it's "Perfume + Amy", "Perfume + Amy", "Perfume + Amy" ... and then all the sudden it's just "Perfume" and your mind automatically adds the Amy because you now associate that perfume with her.

The same with songs on the radio, certain stretches of roads from your childhood, even a particular movie. I'm sure you can think of a million examples.

So, now that we understand how conditioning and association works, what next?

Well, understanding is only half of the battle. It's good to be familiar with the weapons in your arsenal, but they don't mean a thing unless you can use them.

So, now that we understand it, we must use it to sway things in our favor, to help us with women, and eventually use it to conquer the world. Well, okay, I'll handle that last part, and you worry about the women.

There are two major ways things can be associated: positively and negatively.

Positive associations are going to be our friends. They're going to be like the little voices in her head that will keep reminding her of you even when you aren't around. Since the best associations work on an emotional or reflexive level, this is what we must target. We want to associate ourselves with certain involuntary bodily responses.

When she sees you, what do you want her body to do?

We want her heart to race, her breathing to quicken. We want her cheeks to flush, her skin to tingle, her pupils to dilate. The physiological signs of EXCITEMENT. So how do we go about that?

We need to associate ourselves with exciting things. This is the main reason we recommend the so-called "action dates." You want to get the adrenaline flowing, her heart pounding. Hiking, biking, rock climbing, ice skating, laser tag, pool, bowling, miniature golf, et cetera. Things that involve activity.

Since you will be with her, she will associate this excitement with you. Then, when you remove one of the elements, the other associated element will be brought up in her mind. So the next time she sees you, she will subconsciously think "excitement" and she will become excited. And the next time she is excited, particularly if it's doing the same activity you did together, she will think of you. And this will only reinforce the association more.

The thing to keep in mind here is that we want her feeling good when she is around you. At all times. Do you remember that line from "The Lion King"? Hakuna Matata. "No worries."

When she is with you, she should be able to leave her problems at the door and just have fun. You are her tour guide to a fun destination outside of her everyday responsibilities. You want her to feel happy when she is with you. She will then associate you with happiness, and once you've accomplished that, you're golden.

Now, a few words about negative association. These are the things to avoid at all costs.

Have you ever eaten something, like, say, potato salad, and gotten food poisoning? If you're like me, after that, the mere thought of potato salad makes you feel ill. And it seems like no one can persuade you to eat potato salad anymore after that. You associate the food with the illness. It's a very negative association.

So, you can see why you don't want to have a girl associate you with anything negative.

It's not always possible to control these things, but we can reduce the risks.

If your girl hates her job, and it makes her totally miserable, it is NOT a good idea to go visit her at work. She's swirling with negative emotions, and those emotions are likely going to overpower any positive effects that seeing you will have, especially if you don't know each other very well.

Don't go out with her when you're sick. If you take her out and make her sick, you might as well be potato salad, buddy. And if you're in a bad mood, stay the hell away from her. You want her to associate you with positive energy, not negative pissed-at-the-world vibes.

The biggest factor that women care about in relationships is ***HOW YOU MAKE HER FEEL.***

For better or worse, positive or negative, the way you make her feel and the feelings that she associates with you is largely going to affect the outcome -- whether you succeed or fail will depend in no small part on what she thinks of when she thinks of you.

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