Why Nice Guys Get Rejected

Or... The Power of Disagreeing with Women

by Anti-Dump

In the first three months of dating it is DISASTROUS to validate her feelings and agree too much with a woman.

When you first meet a woman, she looks for strength and confidence FIRST. She is basically looking YOU over. She is not concerned at that time if you support her ideas or feelings.

She wants a man who can handle this world. "Can he take it?" she asks. In the beginning she is NOT INTERESTED in your "relationship skills".

She is interested in observing you in action. How does he HANDLE people? How does he HANDLE his car breaking down? Does he POUND walls? Does he lose it?

These are the FIRST things she looks for. In the first three months if you act too agreeable, or validate her feelings too much, she INTERPRETS this as being "soft".

A tough man has a gentle side, but it is CRAZY to present the "soft" side in the very beginning.


Because a woman will basically think you are ALL SOFT.

You must be confident with a touch of compassion for others. That's about it for about four months to a year.

I make it a point to "disagree" once on each date. It's a test. I want to see if she can handle small disagreements. Many men go along all the way for the first month or two.

Validating and defending a woman comes LATER on in the relationship. You get respect only later on. After one year VALIDATING becomes GOLD to a woman. In the beginning, it is relationship destroying.

I am not saying treat her badly. Please don't post me back saying that. You give her basic respect. You are friendly, etc. But you are careful not to 'support' her too much when you FIRST MEET. Because she will interpret it as a character flaw called WEAKNESS.

Now all women are going to disagree. But that is the TRUTH. That's why nice guys get rejected.

You can read more great tips from Anti-Dump on the SoSuave Discussion Forum.