Why Talking to Girls Is Hard

by REd-xL

One thing that I've noticed about lots of guys coming here is that they are wondering how to turn themselves from losers into players.

It doesn't work that way.

As everyone here knows all too well, the biggest distinction between players and losers lies within confidence and self-esteem.

I have this theory as to why some people tend to have problems approaching girls...

Too Much Pressure

Sex is viewed like the Holy Grail, a passage into manhood, or the sense of achieving identity by some individuals.

If these people aren't getting any, their infatuation with sex becomes detrimental, lowering their confidence level at the constant thought of what they're not getting.

As a result, talking to girls becomes difficult because the approach lies solely on the intent of getting laid.

These sex-craved individuals lose their composure, because their efforts strive toward achieving something they have yet to experience, or have trouble experiencing.

This occurs due to the PRESSURE they put on themselves to achieve their ideal goal of getting laid.

To make my point here...

Instead of approaching girls with the intent to have sex with them, approach girls with the intention of JUST BEING FRIENDS.

Social Animals

Humans are social animals. We strive at building solid relationships with other individuals.

How hard is it to make friends?

This strategy can achieve the following for you:

  • The ability to just be yourself. No pressure here, folks.
  • The ability to gain the confidence in just being yourself to approach girls.
  • The experience obtained from approaching and talking to girls.
  • The possibility that your "friend" would gladly step in to play matchmaker for you.

Dating and sex are complex in their own right, so they must be achieved in steps.

Step By Step

Try passing Linear Algebra without having taken any math classes in between arithmetic and Linear Algebra. You can't.

When sex is the first thing you picture in your head when you first see a girl, it's inevitable your nerves will falter... if you approach her with the focus of such an outcome, especially if inexperienced.

When you approach girls as yourself with the hopes of becoming nothing more than friends, you will reflect genuineness, confidence, and friendly warmth — traits girls look for in guys.

You may not hit it off with these girls, but the experience you get from it will truly make it easier to approach girls.


Relax. Stop trying to act like someone you're not.

Stop trying to manipulate and read or direct her actions.

Because all of these factor in on the lack of concentration you need to talk with confidence to girls.

Once you achieve the necessary confidence, that's when you can start worrying about the other factors.