How to Build Your Self-Confidence with Women

A Simple System to Great Confidence

by Steve

I have been a DJ member now for three weeks and my life has changed dramatically.

Thank You!

I have read a lot of the web site, read the SoSuave Newsletter and also some books that I bought from I have been reading a lot and practicing what I have read. It really has changed my life.

It is true that if you play it right, you will have too many women. In my third week I am realizing I need to learn how to balance all of my dates. I have too many. It is an awesome problem to have; I recommend it.

I want to give back by sharing my DJ tip.

I am going to write about the most powerful tip of all – Confidence.

Yeah I know, you have heard over and over again that it is key. I am not going to tell you that again.

I am going to tell you how to get it.

How to Gain the Confidence You Need

Gaining confidence is simple and once you get some, it will become easier to get more. It's the snowball effect.

Here is how you get confidence, put very simply.


Fear is a powerful emotion. Conquering a fear will give you confidence.

Go out and conquer a fear, then tell me how you feel. You will feel good about yourself and more confident. It is like a legal drug. The bigger the fear you conquer, the better you feel.

All of us are afraid to do a lot of things. Going up to really hot girls and public speaking come to mind. Those are big fears. You do not have to conquer those first. I recommend you do not (at first).

Start Small

Start small and build a foundation. The pyramids are still around because they have a big foundation. You need to build a confidence foundation too.

At first start conquering small fears, whatever they may be. Your confidence will improve. Your foundation will grow.

All you have to do is recognize you are afraid. Then take action.

Here is an example of dealing with fear. Let's talk about picking up women.

Picking Up Women

At first go up to anyone (guy or girl) and practice starting a conversation and keeping it going for a little bit. You will get some confidence and learn.

Then graduate to a girl. Pick an ugly one if you need to. I did!

Practice approaching her, introducing yourself, "Hi, I am John, how are you doing?" (the best pick up line ever). Get the conversation going and make her laugh. Get out of there on a high note when the conversation is going well.

Your confidence will go up.

Graduate to the next one. Who are you scared to talk to? There is your next target.

The Moment of Truth

Fear: You will feel it in your chest. It will say, don't do it and give you 100 reasons why.

You have to mentally say, screw it and do it anyway. That is called "The Moment of Truth."

I am asking you to perform at The Moment of Truth. That is when fear is at its peak. In doing so your confidence will improve. Guaranteed.

(Side note: even if it is not in relation to picking a girl up, fear is around; find it and conquer it. It may be talking to your boss or whatever. If you are scared of it, try it. There are many times throughout the day when we are scared. Use those as opportunities to gain confidence.)

If you conquer fears, your confidence will go up.

SoSuave Note: If you develop the habit of running toward your fears, rather than away from them, you will have discovered one of the great secrets of living a wonderful life.

And having great success with women!

Easier said than done, of course.

But all we can do is try our best, work hard, hard, hard...

And get a little bit better every day!