How I Lost Several Girls

by Charles Foster

I'm not very good with women myself (yet), but I've found something out recently.

It seems so obvious to me now, but why do so many men not realize it?

"Even if you don't smoke, carry a lighter with you."

I've lost a few girls to other guys now simply because I didn't have a lighter.

I remember once a girl was eyeing me up all of one evening and vice-versa. I, at that stage, had so little confidence I couldn't go over and talk to her. She came over to me and said "Excuse me, do you have a light?" I replied "No sorry, don't smoke."

She then walked off looking for a light.

She probably had about as much confidence with the opposite sex as me.

Another even better example (even worse for me) was very recently when I was talking to a very attractive girl who I'd never met before. We were sitting down one to one and there was no possibility of anyone getting me away from her or her from me.

We were getting on smoothly and I couldn't believe my luck.

She asked me if I had a light and I said "No, sorry".

I remembered the time before with the other girl so I tried to quickly make a joke so that she must return.

"Ohhh, I used to smoke. Not anymore. A moment on the lips - years on the hips."

She laughed but then went 2 meters away from me to get a light. And just in that short amount of time and that short distance she was pounced upon by other men.

She never got back to me, she didn't have a chance, she only smiled over at me.

So, carry a lighter with you even if you don't smoke!

Thinking about it, lighters could be useful in other ways too.

# Those annoying threads coming out of your shirt or trouser etc, you could burn them off.

# See documented material in the dark.

# Make your farts that little more special.