The Lessons of Top Gun
When I first began my transformation from Average Frustrated Chump to Don Juan, I used a quote from the movie "Top Gun" to help me at certain times.
Hopefully you remember the scene where Maverick, the talented fighter pilot played by Tom Cruise, was about to enter into a dogfight, but was hesitating with fear and self-doubt. Then comes a voice over his radio:
"Engage, Maverick, engage!"
He then engages and kicks ass.
Whenever I'm in proximity to a chick I'd like to talk to, and I have thought of something in the least bit creative to say to her, I hear a voice in my head say "Engage, Maverick, engage!"
And then I know that if I don't approach her and give it a shot, I'll be really disappointed with myself for the rest of the day.
I do not ignore that little voice. It is almost like someone else talking to me. Someone who's going to reprimand and ridicule me if I don't do as he says, and so I always obey.
This little mental trick could probably work for other guys as well as it worked for me in overcoming my fear of approaching women.
The second lesson from Top Gun is of much greater scope and importance.
Remember the scene near the end of the movie when the pilots have just returned to the carrier after killing a bunch of Russians, and Maverick and Iceman (Val Kilmer) approach each other? Iceman says, "Hey, Maverick, you can be my wingman any day." And Maverick replies, "Bullshit, you can be mine."
THAT is the spirit you must have when dealing with women.
When women test you to see if they can control and manipulate you, when they're trying to find out if you have a backbone and nads or not, when what they really mean by whatever it is they're saying is "Hey, boy, you can be my little puppet," you have to be a man and think "Bullshit, you can be mine!" Then act accordingly.
You're not there to pass her silly little tests. You're not there hoping desperately that she'll like you. You're not there willing to change any and all aspects of your personality in a futile effort to please her. And you're not there to ask "How high?" when she says "Jump!"
You're there to find out if she is worth YOUR time and YOUR attention. She is trying out for a position on YOUR team, not vice versa.
Decent women don't really want a man that they can control. We know that. So don't be controlled.
Always remember, you're the man and you're the pilot in charge. The women climb into your plane and allow you to dictate what sort of flight you'll have.
Now don't forget, you are a team, and she is there to make your job easier. A good wingman will sometimes have good suggestions, and her opinion is not to be dismissed out of hand. A good pilot will cooperate at times, but only on his terms and if it suits him.
So the next time some girl tries to make you her wingman, say "Bullshit, you can be mine!"
And act like you mean it!