Self Fulfilling Prophecy - How I Became a Winner with Girls

by HapaSuperMan

It is surprising how the way in which we think effects the outcome of the events in our lives. The way in which we perceive things to be has a direct correlation with the way things actually turn out.

We all form "self-fulfilling prophecies" for ourselves, whether or not we are aware of what we are doing. What we perceive to be true about ourselves eventually becomes true through our own self-induced bias.

If we truly believe ourselves to be a dateless loser, we take actions to validate this claim, accommodating behavior that is characteristic of this type of person.

However, self-fulfilling prophecies do not always have to be bad. We can use them to our advantage, manipulating our thoughts into believing that we truly are studs and chick-magnets.

As long as these ego-inflating thoughts do not completely delude us from the truth, we can improve our thinking, changing our outlook on life to be more positive and constructive, rather than being self-defeating and deconstructive.

Back in middle school, I was unsuccessful with the opposite sex due to my own self-defeating thoughts of being an ugly loser who could never get a date. That which I thought I was, was what I became. My actions accommodated my transformation into such a person.

Until one day I decided that I needed to change. I was sick of how things were going and decided that I wanted to be someone better. Someone who looked good and could get girls.

Little by little, I came to believe that I truly did have these traits, which aided my metamorphosis into becoming such a person.

At first, I started out by working out more, and doing so every day. My friends started commenting to me about the change in my stature, which also made me feel better about myself. (Being in a positive environment helped me to grow, but being a product of your environment is another topic.)

Girls started noticing too. I started interacting more with the girls I knew at my school. I got myself introduced to girls I had never talked with before. I actually got some hugs from girls (female friends) I knew that I saw around campus, for the first time.

I started to go out with girls on the weekends to nearby places like the local McDonald's (I didn't have a license back then) on the equivalent of small, middle school-type dates for the first time. I finally went to my first school dance, and actually danced... with girls (gasp!)... for the first time. I got my first kiss.

All in all, I started to become this person who I was beginning to believe I was.

By believing that I was a fairly good-looking guy who could get girls my success rate went up, due to (what I realize now) a boost in personal confidence.

The way in which I thought altered the way in which I acted, making me more outgoing and willing to risk rejection, due to the fact that I thought I couldn't do wrong.

Even when some other guys at my school tried to put me down (and we all know by now that people who tease others say a lot about their own insecurities merely through the act of teasing), it didn't seem to phase me all that much because I was seeing results.

And even while I wasn't 100% successful (who is?), my success rate went up and up, which at the same time contributed to my psychological well-being.

I had done like the commercials said and just did it.

If we think we are a certain type of person, we adopt the characteristics of those people and begin to mimic the things they do. This explains why people have role-models; in a sense, they want to become the people they see who can do great things like be successful, get money, and get women. They want all of those things and therefore they act in a similar fashion in hopes of getting similar results.

This is related to self-fulfilling prophecies and the power they hold. The way in which we see ourselves has a powerful effect in changing our behaviors.

Changing self-perceptions can completely flip the way things are going for us, whether it be in a good or bad way. Hopefully we can all learn to control them for our own benefit.

Behold the power of the self-fulfilling prophecy; it's potency has the power to change your world and ultimately it is you who command your own destiny.