An Excellent Example of How to Ask a Woman Out on a Date

by J. A.

You've probably seen the movie Office Space. If you haven't, you should.

Did you see the scene where the guy asked the waitress (played by Jennifer Aniston) out to lunch? This is an EXCELLENT example to learn from. Go watch that scene and see why it is a good example. If you can't tell why, watch it until you can.

Basically, the guy asks the waitress what she's doing for lunch. She mistakenly thinks he's asking about lunch specials, points to a sign and walks away. Does this stop the guy? No. He calmly walks over to her and lets her know that he was asking what SHE was doing for lunch.

Then comes the really good part. After she says she doesn't think she's supposed to just walk out and go to lunch with some guy, our hero is still unflustered. He says he's going next door and he's going to get a table. If she shows up, fine. If not...that's fine too.

What did this communicate? He communicated that:

  1. He was confident and relaxed. He didn't get rattled at all during the entire exchange.
  2. Lunch wasn't a big deal. Whether she showed up or not he was going to go have lunch and enjoy himself.

Did he want her to show up? Sure. But her presence wasn't going to make or break him. It wasn't that big of a deal to him. His having a good time was NOT dependent on whether the woman was there or not. He avoided appearing needy or desperate.

Too often guys make a big deal out of things and appear needy. When you ask a woman out, do it in such a way that suggests you were going to go regardless of whether she came along, but she's welcome to if she so chooses.

Things like "I'm going to my favorite restaurant Friday and if you want to come along you're welcome to" says something a lot different (and a lot less desperate) than "Can I take you to dinner Friday night?"

Think about that and look for other GOOD examples of encounters between men and women on screen. They're not everywhere, but they ARE there.

I'm having a friend of mine watch that scene from Office Space to see if he can identify why it's a good encounter and my guess is I'll have to explain it to him even though it's right in front of his face. He simply hasn't learned WHAT to look for yet.

Learn WHAT you need to look for and then look for it. Once you have an understanding of what a good encounter is you'll be able to see more examples of them all around you.

I'd say good luck here, but a Don Juan doesn't depend on luck.