Lean on Me

by Allen Thompson

One of the most important body language components of good conversation is "the lean." When talking to a beautiful lady that you'd like to get to know better, subtly lean toward her. If you're sitting, lean your upper body slightly toward her. If you're standing slightly tilt your head in her direction.

Leaning has the subliminal effect of closing (or widening) the distance between the two of you. By leaning toward her you're indirectly indicating that you like her, are interested in what she has to say, and want to get closer to her.

On the other hand leaning back away from someone can send the message that you don't particularly like them, and would prefer to put a little more distance between yourselves.

You can also use "the lean" to gauge how well you're doing with a particular lady. If she's leaning toward you, then you're probably doing something right. If she's leaning away, then you probably need to try something different.

The lean is very powerful. Learn to use it.

But like any technique that works, don't overdo it. Lean back once in a while, look around the room, divert your attention. Take away your lean and make her miss it. Then bring it back again.

Don't let her take your "lean" for granted.

Allen Thompson
Copyright © 1999