Do You Want Something That Lasts?

by Tanya

Even though I'm a woman, I still love your articles and honestly agree with the majority of what you say.

I'm a fairly attractive women (I guess) and find the typical pick-up lines and interested male behavior tiring and even pathetic. There's nothing less attractive than a man fawning over me. I've heard and seen it all and crave someone different who is my EQUAL. If I wanted a dog, I'd get a dog.

Men with lives, interests, and a sense of self-worth are the only types of men who attract me because I have that too and I don't want to be bored. Thank you for helping men see that they should see themselves as having value. They'll never find someone of quality if they don't get that into their sweet little heads. Also, they're going to get walked all over. Nobody deserves that.

But we women test you guys constantly (sorry about that). Are you strong and capable? You've got to call me on my crap if you want my respect. If you don't, I'll like you to play with for a little while but never really want you for the long term.

However, there is a subtle but important distinction I think you need to help some of these guys with. That is, I've never chosen a man because he's nice. Nice is not something that evokes attraction, pity sometimes, but not that "Damn, I'd like to crawl in your lap and take off my shirt RIGHT NOW" reaction that everyone craves.

But NICE IS STILL IMPORTANT if you're looking for something that lasts.

If you're not looking for a lasting relationship, well forget it, stop reading this now and continue with your current behavior.

But, I know most men aren't as shallow as everyone insists they are. They, like everyone else, would like to find that special person who admires, respects and stands by them (while still being an animal in the sheets). If a man wants something lasting, nice is essential.

I've been with men who attract me but aren't nice. When they change their minds and want the relationship to go to the next level I always flee.


Attraction is good but once a man makes any kind of indication that he wants a commitment, but offers nothing in return, then FORGET IT. Logic surfaces and any woman with half a brain is going to recognize that it's too late for that and a routine has already been established.

To summarize (you know how us ladies like to blah, blah, blah)...

Nice will not attract someone to you. But you won't be able to keep them if you aren't.

Well, you might if she's a psycho with no sense of self-worth or respect for herself. But is that what you want?