Stay Positive, Relaxed and In Control

by Mitch

 I have studied the human psyche, interactions including courting and seduction, and even animal behavior for a very long time. From my studies and experience, the bottom line is: people and animals from any culture, genus, or species respond positively and favorably to people or even organisms that are POSITIVE and RELAXED.

Big secret, right?

It's as easy as that. When you are positive and relaxed, you are in control. This is ESPECIALLY true when you first approach and meet a woman.

Think about this for a minute: have you ever seen those bee-keepers on TV with bees all over them? They just sit there relaxed with no movement, and the bees crawl all over them just going about their business? That's because they are relaxed and in control.

Same thing when you approach a snake, skunk, bear, and yes, a human. The more positive and relaxed you are, the more favorably they will respond to you because you are acting NATURAL. Key word there.

If you crowd their territory and make a sudden movement out of balance or fear, they will disapprove of you and the snake will strike, the bear will chase, the skunk will spray, and the human will disassociate or reject.

Now to the contemporary human translation of all this (or in other words, the good part): when you go into an establishment like a club, bar, or party where there are a LOT of good looking women -- RELAX, say "hi", or start a casual conversation with the very first people you come in contact with -- whether it is while you are in line to get in, or when you first walk in the door.

It doesn't matter if it is an individual, a group, a couple, a guy or a girl -- you HAVE to establish yourself socially. Act like you own the place and talk to as many people as you can, but make sure they are NOT preoccupied or in a conversation with someone else. Their body language has to be in an opening, approachable position.

You must be in a positive, relaxed, confident, and controlling manner when approaching. Always smile and be friendly. Do not be biased, or opinionated in this stage when talking. Ask open-ended questions. Most people (especially women) love to talk about themselves.

Use something like "So, what brings you lovely ladies up here this evening?" The word "lovely" creates a positive feeling inside them, sets the stage for sexual communication, and will automatically open them up.

It cracks me up when you read these books about busting on a woman right off the bat about what she is wearing, etc. -- that is ridiculous! You haven't earned the right or the social status to do so at this stage; it is insulting, and you will not get laid or her phone number.

Instead, go up to a woman introduce yourself, say "Hello, my name is John. What is yours?" She will respond. Take a step back, look her up and down, analyzing her appearance and say, "You know, I gotta say that you look wonderful this evening."

Wait for her response and how positive/accepting or negative/rejecting it is. Then say "What brings you up here tonight?" There is nothing wrong with a compliment at this time, just do not overdo it.

Soon women start to open up to you, then they start asking you questions -- that is when you take control. From there you can bust on them A LITTLE in a FUN and RELAXED manner. DO NOT INSULT. When they start laughing and touching you at the same time, you are accepted. Touching is the strongest sign of approval, and the first sign of intimacy.

After touching takes place, LEAVE. Say, "It was great meeting you. I will catch up with you later on, OK?" Wait for her to respond. If she is leaving, bust on her for leaving, but get her number. If she is staying, meet up with her later on.

When you meet up with her again later in the evening (if she doesn't meet up with you first), do not be afraid to reinforce touching for it already took place. Use a seductive voice.

I guarantee you she was thinking of you when you left her earlier, after the first touching took place. It may sound crazy, but it is true. But remember, STAY RELAXED AND IN CONTROL.

The women that do not give YOU the time of day, when you are friendly to them in the first place, are the ones you somewhat insult. Do it in a RELAXED and almost indirect fashion. I always use, "Well, I am sorry that I caught you at a bad time. I figured I would try to meet new friends tonight and I thought you would be fun to hang out with sometime. I figured wrong. My mistake... have a good night." THEN LEAVE.

90-97% of the time they will feel horrible and try to get your approval either later, or right then and there. 80% of the time they will do it right there. She will say "No wait, I am sorry, I had a horrible day today." And just like that, you are in control.

Turn around, again relaxed and smiling, and TAKE OVER. Say "Well, you got some explaining to do, and you may need to buy me a drink for this one. So, what happened?" Then she automatically will go into her life story, and that gives you fuel to bust on her (do not insult, you already did that indirectly, and she didn't know it) as she tries to win your approval.

By the time she gets done, you will have enough status established to give her a hug (maybe a kiss, but highly NOT recommended at this time), and you are there! Again, touching is the first sign of intimacy and you are well beyond approved, so you can initiate the hug.

Then you say, "See, that wasn't so bad was it?" Look here in the eyes for a little bit. You will know when her pupils dilate when she looks at your lips then your eyes again. She may even make a move to kiss you first. DO NOT KISS HER AT THIS POINT!

Make this move instead and say "Well, I gotta go talk to those people over there. Maybe I will see you later on." THEN LEAVE.

The mistake guys make is they keep hanging around. LEAVE ON THE POSITIVE! Do not hang around. The negative will eventually come back in to haunt you.

Talk to other people throughout the evening. Find common interests and establish yourself. Look at women and maintain eye contact with them. Do not break it -- it shows weakness, vulnerability, and they will be skeptical.

When you lock eyes - smile - they will smile back. At that time, that is when you approach them. Keep smiling, be confident, and be friendly.

Now you are back to stage 1 with another woman.

Good Luck,