Building Your Skill Set for Approaching and Talking to Women

by Moe Janssen

One of our greatest fears is approaching a complete stranger and unveiling our fondness towards them. Some people use liquid courage to inebriate the brain into motivating them forward, while others use psychological tactics to expand their comfort zone.

What type of world would this be if we never approached anyone? Just a bunch of weak men standing around, looking downwards, and keeping their mouths shut. Wondering what could have been if only we had the strength, courage, motivation, confidence, and something clever to say.

If you think approaching women comes easy then you are right, but here is the key: you have to practice to work out the kinks.

Pick-up artists make it look all too easy, but in reality, they encounter REJECTION just like the rest of us. The huge difference is that they do not allow rejection to interfere with the next person they approach. They have sculpted the art of approaching down to a natural ability to create rapport within a few moments.

You have to be willing to sacrifice your ego at first, to reap the benefits down the road. After you paid your dues (got a few thanks but no thanks) you can fine-tune your approach technique and soon you too will be able to rapidly seduce women.

You have to be aware that in certain scenarios the approach anxiety varies. If you master each level in sequential order, you will rid yourself of future approach anxiety. It all comes down to expanding your comfort level, which means venturing a risk. When you do so, you confront your fear head on and hopefully learn to accept the risk and move on without hesitation. A skill set needs time to develop.

Here are some places to build your skill set.

1) Internet Dating

You can view tons of matches all from the privacy of your home and be totally anonymous. Initially, there is no direct approach, but you may venture to do an online approach (email, instant message, send a virtual rose/wink). No verbal rejection, approach anxiety is minimal. Skill set develops as messages are exchanged. This is an ideal location to test/fine tune your quick wit. Do bear in mind online competition is very high.

2) Speed Dating

This is a controlled environment in which single people meet in a bar on an off night. The coordinator of the event instructs everyone to meet in a round robin fashion. There is a lot of face to face time but it's limited to only a few minutes with each individual. Since everyone there is single and there for the same purpose, approaching is the only option. The nervousness wears thin after a few mini-dates. This is a step up from internet fishing. No real rejection initially, and competition is medium.

3) Bars/Clubs

This is where a ton of people venture out every weekend to mingle and meet. Many people claim they are tired of the bar scene because they lack proper social skills or fear the competition. Alcohol and bringing a wingman is what most utilize for motivation. Competition is high during peak hours.

4) Spontaneous Interactions

This is more daytime approaching. At a grocery store, in line at the bank, at the gas station, walking on the street, festivals, etc. This is where you approach a stranger and develop rapport to extract a future date. Competition is very low but the rejection can be high unless you have skills.

Moe Janssen

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