The Magic of Saying "Hi" to Women

by Ron Louis & David Copeland

Dear Ron and David,

I know that you suggest saying "Hi" but these women go about their everyday duties in a semi-trance and when I interrupt that, they seem shocked. It's that unusual for a stranger to speak to them. It is this look of shock on their faces that inhibits my drive to approach them -- when that is really what I want.

This is how it is in the UK. If I could overcome this 'shocked/surprised' look, I could approach many women.


Dear Mark,

You do interrupt women when you say hi to them, so it is true, some of them will look surprised. But it's important that you learn to develop that "interruption" muscle, because it is unlikely that the women you are interested in will go out of their way to find you.

You'll get all sorts of responses when you say "hi." Some will be warm, and some not. One of the benefits of getting into the habit of saying "hi" to women is that you start to learn that a woman's response to your "hi" doesn't matter. What matters is that you took action, and took a risk in saying "hi," and are getting better at initiating everything with women.

David: For instance, the other day I was leaving my gym, and I saw a very pretty girl standing in the gym's foyer, looking at a poster on the wall. As I went by her I said, "Hi."

She startled in shock and turned toward me, horrified. She looked completely terrified, which is strange, as I happen to know that I am not that scary looking a guy. But this is part of being the kind of guy who says "hi," who goes for what he wants without shame or apology.

Some women are really in their own world of fear and upset. It has nothing to do with you, and there's absolutely nothing you can do about it. If I hadn't startled her, something else would have.

So I did what you have to do in those situations: I reminded myself that dating is a numbers game, and that this kind of response happens occasionally, and that it was about her, not me. Then I went on with my day, and didn't think about it any more.

Ron: Here's another example of the weird kind of response you might get to saying "hi". The other day, I was walking in a nearby woods, and I said hi to a woman who was also walking there. Her response? She turned and ran away from me -- and I am not that scary looking, either. It was this beautiful nature area, and I smiled and said hi, and she just looked incredibly upset.

We are here to tell you that it's time to stop worrying about women's responses, even if they are like the ones detailed above.

It's time to get past this idea that you are going to shatter a woman's entire personality just by saying hi, or that it's a big problem that you interrupted her. Some women, because of their own problems, their own history, and their own lives, will get a little spooked when you say hi. It doesn't matter. If you hadn't spooked her, something else would have. That's her, not you.

It's worth risking this kind of response, because hi can also work for you. We have had many more experiences where just saying hi has opened up wonderful and seductive conversations with women. You just need to know that everybody who practices the "hi program" occasionally gets a weird response, or a whole string of weird responses. And so will you.

We suggest you continue saying "hi," because the results of saying "hi" to women can be amazing. One of our students -- a guy who had not had sex in a couple of years, at least -- was amazed by this. We gave him the assignment of saying "hi" to ten women a day, and sent him on his way.

When we talked to him the next week, we asked him, "How'd it go? Did you say hi to ten women a day?" He said, "No, I didn't say 'hi' to ten women a day. I said hi to more than three hundred women in the last seven days. I went to the beach, and I said hi to every woman I saw. I went to the mall, I said hi to every woman I saw. Wherever I went, I said hi to every woman I saw. I said hi to fifty, sixty, even a hundred women a day. I said 'hi' to hot women, ugly women, old women, young women -- all of them." He had done great work, and he felt really good about it.

Taking such massive action had positive results.

He got his "interruption/initiation muscle" so strong that he was empowered to boldly and powerfully take the next steps in talking to women, as we taught those steps to him. He became able to take opportunities as they presented themselves, and gave himself a bias for action with women that over time got him sex with a number of women, and eventually a girlfriend.

Obviously, saying 'hi' by itself wasn't enough, but the point is this: he never would have succeeded without learning to say it. He got himself to the point where he could initiate easily, and that made it possible for him to meet, converse with, and seduce women.

Getting your initiation/interruption muscle stronger really is the critical first step of being able to successfully talk to women. And the best way to get that muscle stronger is by saying 'hi.'

And remember -- the women you interrupt are going to be looking to YOU and your behavior to figure out how upset they should be by your interruption. You have to be a source of certainty for these women that everything is okay, and you do that by knowing in yourself that everything really is okay.

When she looks shocked, and you look happy and calm, your calmness will carry the day as you start to interact with her.

Best of luck!

About the Author: Ron and David are dating coaches. Their book How to Succeed With Women has sold over 40,000 copies. They have been featured in magazines such as Cosmopolitan, Playboy, YM, Maxim, GQ UK, Swank, Gallery, and Players. They have also been on the Rosanne Barr Show, the Issac Hays show, To Tell the Truth, Fox News, CNN, UPN, and ABC. For more great tips on meeting and dating women or to ask a question go to