3 Things You Must Do When Talking to Women

by Ron Louis & David Copeland

In our new book, "How to Talk to Women," we extensively discuss specific flirting skills and conversational techniques you must use with women if you want them to think of you as potential romantic material.

We talk about interrupting women, deepening, asking romantic questions, situational flirting, and other specific flirting techniques.

However, there are some guidelines for what you should do when you are not specifically doing one of those seduction moves. Curiosity, admiration, and listening tie the other flirting skills together. Here's what you need to know about each:


First, you must be curious about her.

Curiosity happens naturally, but many men stomp it out because they are afraid if they get curious, they will lose control of the interaction with the woman.

You must learn to notice and follow up on the little flickers of curiosity you will get when you are interacting with a woman. She may mention that her job involves working with children, and you may notice that you wonder, what age are those children? Ask her.

Men worry that they have to come up with some brilliant conversation, but because a woman's favorite topic is herself, all you really have to do is be curious about her, ask questions, and that will carry the conversation between your seduction moves.


Most women don't see themselves as special and are not used to other people seeing them as special. When you're able to see the passionate and special parts of a woman and appreciate it, she'll feel a bond to you.

If she says her friend declared bankruptcy, but she could never do that, you can admire her by saying, "I can see you are a person to whom integrity is important. I think that's cool." If she says that she is really into recycling, you can say to her, "I can see that you are a woman who cares about the environment. Most people don't, I think it's pretty amazing that you do."

By noticing what she cares about, and admiring it, you both compliment her and show that you are an insightful man.

Listening at Her

Whether or not you are listening to a woman makes no difference if she doesn't think you are listening. You show you are listening by doing three thing.

1) Saying "helping phrases" like "Yes," "Uh-huh," and "I see," while she is talking. This shows her that you are paying attention.

2) Feeding back what she said to you, in your own words. If she talks about how she had eight meetings the day before, and it exhausted her, you can say, "Wow, eight meetings! That's a lot, I can see why you were exhausted." That sums up what she said, and shows that you "got it."

3) Being curious and admiring her. When you are curious about something she said, and ask a question about it, it shows you were listening in the first place. When you admire her, you also show that you've been paying attention to what she's been saying.

To find out a LOT more about seducing a woman through how you talk to her, check out the book How to Talk to Women.

About the Author: Ron and David are dating coaches. Their book How to Succeed With Women has sold over 40,000 copies. They have been featured in magazines such as Cosmopolitan, Playboy, YM, Maxim, GQ UK, Swank, Gallery, and Players. They have also been on the Rosanne Barr Show, the Issac Hays show, To Tell the Truth, Fox News, CNN, UPN, and ABC. For more great tips on meeting and dating women or to ask a question go to howtosucceedwithwomen.com.