The Magnetic Power of Disagreeing With Women

by Ron Louis & David Copeland

Do you know when it's important to disagree with a woman you desire?

Do you know when disagreeing actually helps you succeed with a woman — and when being agreeable might actually destroy your chances with her?

If you'd like to have your disagreements with women actually help you succeed with them, then you'll want to take a few moments to read this right now.

It'll be the easiest thing you've ever done to succeed with women.

First — Find Common Ground

It is true that it's important to find "common ground" with women.

It is important to be able to make a connection with the women you meet by finding the things you have in common.

It's important to find out what she most cares about — even if she isn't sure of what it is, herself — and to admire that. That helps her see you as a man who understands her in a deep, personal way.

When you do this right, it bonds a woman to you and makes you stand out to her as a man who can "get inside" her.

And a lot of our students have great successes with that kind of approach.

But did you know that there are uses for disagreement, too?

But Don't Overdo It

Some men take "finding things you have in common" too far. They get so into trying to find things in common and admiring what women care about that they lose the edge in their personalities.

In a way, they become dishonest, because they are always editing what they might say to make sure it fits into the "things we have in common" frame.

They hide who they really are, because they are afraid of any disharmony with a woman.

Put another way...

If you avoid talking about things you DON'T have in common with a woman — out of fear of driving her away — you'll become bland and boring.

...and being bland and boring is the surest way to drive a woman away.

In the final analysis... if you hide your true self — your beliefs, your interests, what's important to you — in the pursuit of connecting with a woman, you'll just end up angry and alone.

When Disagreement Is Good

But here's some really good news...

It turns out that expressing yourself — even expressing your DISAGREEMENTS and INCOMPATIBILITIES with women — can be very attractive to them.

Sometimes a woman needs to know that you are DIFFERENT from her, and that your "inner world" is something that you value.

She needs to see that your inner world is different from hers, valuable — and that, if she's lucky, she just might be able to enter it.

Having said that...

Here's an Important Point

Being willing to disagree does NOT mean just being disagreeable.

It does NOT mean just arguing for the sake of arguing, or showing random hostility, aggressiveness, or defensiveness. That's just going to seem crazy.

Being willing to disagree with a woman means being willing to have there be moments in the interaction where the woman really sees that you are different from her.

She sees that you are not a jerk about your disagreements. But she also sees that you have an inner world that you are not going to abandon just for her.

This is important:

Being willing to disagree, and take a stand for what's important to you, actually makes you MORE valuable in a woman's eyes.

When you value something more than you value having sex with her, it's like saying, "here's something more valuable than you are."

And the coolest part is... she'll want to achieve that same level of value, so it will get her to start working to be with YOU, and to get into YOUR world, rather than you always having to work to get into hers.

This works especially well on hot women, who are used to having men do ANYTHING to get closer to them. Suddenly she's "competing" with something that's more important to you than being close to her. So she tries to get closer to you.

Disagreeing can give you magnetic power with women, if you do it properly.

How to Disagree With a Woman — The Right Way

You compellingly disagree with a woman by showing her that you are willing to take a stand for what you believe in.

But — and this is important — you do it without having to be combative, obnoxious, or making her "wrong."

There are two steps to making that happen.

  1. State your disagreement, and
  2. Change the subject, without trying to change her point of view.

Let us give you an example:

She may have said something you really disagree with, like "I think war is always, always wrong."

This might really go against what you believe. So you'd be willing to disagree. You'd say something like,

"I believe that there are times when you have to take action on what you think is right, and be willing to pay the price for that. I don't totally agree with this war, but to me, there are times when a country has to take drastic action to protect its citizens, just like a man might have to take action to protect his family. I support that."

She may respond with her point of view. Let her, but DON'T get sucked into a discussion about it.

The secret is to allow HER to have HER points of view, while you have yours.

You can say something like,

"I certainly don't want to argue about it, and you make some good points. I'm just a man who believes what he believes."

Then be willing to change the subject. Provide a new subject for conversation, by saying something like, "Hey, you said before that you were really into [something she told you she was into]. Can you tell me more about that?"

Take Charge and Gain Respect

The thing is, a lot of men are frustrated with women. They are angry because they have felt helpless with women they desire. They've felt like they have either had to abandon their own beliefs in order to try to get a woman, OR they had to fight with women about what they believe in. Both approaches leads to failure.

As you develop your skill in being able to disagree with women, without having to be a jerk, you'll find that women respect you more, and are more attracted to you.

Try it out and see for yourself!

About the Author: Ron and David are dating coaches. Their book How to Succeed With Women has sold over 40,000 copies. They have been featured in magazines such as Cosmopolitan, Playboy, YM, Maxim, GQ UK, Swank, Gallery, and Players. They have also been on the Rosanne Barr Show, the Issac Hays show, To Tell the Truth, Fox News, CNN, UPN, and ABC. For more great tips on meeting and dating women or to ask a question go to