The 7 Signs a Woman Wants to Be Approached

by Ron Louis & David Copeland


How do I find out if a woman is receptive to being approached by me?


We never suggest pushing a woman, trying to "talk her into liking you," or becoming submissive and acting like a supplicant "so she'll like you."

We are against giving her things you don't want to give her, or doing things for her that you don't want to do, in order to "get her to like you," too.


You probably are often in situations where you don't know if a woman is receptive or not.

Perhaps it's in a bookstore, as you watch a desirable woman browse the books. Or perhaps it's at a coffee shop, wondering if a woman might like you as you watch her working on her laptop computer.

One of the big traps men fall into is they don't find out if a woman is receptive or not. If she's not, then fine, you can move on. But you have to find out.

How to do that?

1. Saying "hi" right away.

If you said "hi" to that woman at the coffee shop when you first saw her, and she didn't say "hi" back, you'd have a good idea that she's not very receptive to your approaching her. If she did say "hi" back, then you both have a little invested in the relationship, and it will be easier to talk with her more later.

2. Assessing her "vibe."

With some women, you really might get the sense that there is a wall around them and that they are really in their own world.

In that situation, the average guy will make this mistake - he'll assume that if he was better with women, he'd be able to break down that wall, talk to that woman, and get her into bed in 20 minutes or less.

Then the average guy will feel bad about himself. Has that ever happened to you?

The truth is, some women are highly unreceptive, and it doesn't have anything to do with you, and there's nothing you are going to be able to do about it. Stop idealizing her as "the perfect woman, who got away" and stop beating yourself up about it.

3. Check out her level of eye contact.

If you are around anyone, you are likely to make accidental eye contact - unless that person is making an effort to make sure that eye contact does not occur. If you can't catch her eye, it doesn't mean that the game is over, but it might mean that she's less open to you than you might like.

4. Being a source of certainty that the interaction is going okay.

Remember, most of the time, a woman is looking to you to gauge whether or not she should be tense in an interaction. If you seem relaxed, she'll be much more likely to relax, too.

On the other hand, if you are tense, she'll be tense, too.

Don't wait for her to relax first - have the faith that the interaction is okay, even before there's any proof of it.

Providing that certainty is _much_ more important than having the "perfect line." You can bumble all over the place, but if you are a source of certainty, then you will have a much better chance with her.

5. See how she responds to comments.

You can find out if a woman is receptive by making some little comment, and seeing how she responds to it.

For instance - If you are using your laptop computer outside at a coffee shop, and it is too bright to see the screen so you came back inside, you might say something like, "Wow, it's nice out, but too bright to see the screen" as you pass by her.

See how she responds - if she grunts or says nothing, she's probably feeling unapproachable. If she gives you an entire sentence, you are on your way!

6. Try a simple conversation-starter.

Get this - It IS permissible to start a conversation with a very tepid, non-romantic question.

You don't have to be romantic right off the bat - just try a little test to find out if she's interested in talking with you.

Look for something in the environment you can comment on, or something about her person that you can ask a question about. Then make your comment or ask your question.

It's perfectly fine to start a conversation with, "Excuse me, I notice you have an Apple laptop. How do you like it?" You just need to get something started. It can get romantic later.

It's also excellent to ask, "What's the story behind that?" about some article on her person. For instance, you might say, "Excuse me, I couldn't help noticing your unusual necklace. I can't recall ever seeing one like that before. If you wouldn't mind me asking, what's the story behind that?"

These are good ways to open conversations with any woman, and will help you see how receptive she is.

7. Don't beat yourself up for "missed" opportunities.

We've said it before, and we'll say it again: It does you no good to beat yourself up for not talking to every woman who crosses your path.

Sometimes you'll "miss" opportunities with women. Don't beat yourself up about it. Beating yourself up about missing opportunities with women only makes things worse.

We believe that this is true: "Missing" opportunities - and not beating yourself up about them - is part of learning to actually take opportunities.

The sequence looks like this: 1) You believe there are no opportunities. Eventually, that leads to 2) You see opportunities, but don't take them, which leads to 3) seeing opportunities and taking them. Let yourself feel good about even _seeing_ the opportunity to approach a woman. That will help you take the opportunity in the future.

More women than you think want you to approach them. Use these tips to find out which ones, and take action!

About the Author: Ron and David are dating coaches. Their book How to Succeed With Women has sold over 40,000 copies. They have been featured in magazines such as Cosmopolitan, Playboy, YM, Maxim, GQ UK, Swank, Gallery, and Players. They have also been on the Rosanne Barr Show, the Issac Hays show, To Tell the Truth, Fox News, CNN, UPN, and ABC. For more great tips on meeting and dating women or to ask a question go to