The Game - How to Get More Phone Numbers Than You Know What to Do With
About four years ago I stumbled onto a phenomenal game that makes meeting women a breeze.
It started when I was out at a nightclub with a girl I had just started dating (we'll call her Amy). Things were going poorly for me because I'm rather quiet and shy around most people, and Amy was the exact opposite.
I spent several hours watching her hang all over other guys and feeling worthless in terms of my own ability to pick-up women. Obviously things didn't last too long with that relationship, but this girl taught me something that has proved very valuable for me and any other guys who struggle with confidence.
Getting back to my story, we decided to go to one last bar with another couple before calling it a night. Our conversation shifted to what we could do to spice up the evening since it was a Wednesday night and most places were slow.
We had just come from 80's dance night at the last club and heard the song Jenny (867-5309) by Tommy Tutone. For anyone who doesn't recognize or remember that song, it was a popular rock tune in which the chorus is 867-5309 (a girl's phone number).
Anyway, we decided to have a contest at the next bar to see who could give out that fake phone number to the most people. We quickly realized that idea sucked and changed it to a contest to see who get the most phone numbers from people of the opposite sex.
We chose a popular sports bar that was not exactly packed, yet always had plenty of attractive women. Amy and I were the only ones who ended up playing the game since the other couple thought it was a waste of time. I figured I really stood no chance against a girl with such social skills, but I was pissed off and really wanted to salvage some pride by showing this girl I had some skills.
When the game ended I had the phone number of every girl in the entire bar. Amy had just two numbers and both were from guys that were total dorks.
She was stuck talking to some fat, drunk guy who could barely stand. Meanwhile I was looking over my huge list of about 25 names trying to decide who to go back and flirt with some more. I know this sounds like total BS and at this point I will try to explain what approach I used and why it works so well.
There are many different strategies you can use and various rules you can add to this game. It can be done by yourself or with a group of guys. I have done it successfully at parties, bars, dance clubs, weddings, and any other social situation where enough attractive women are present to make it worth the effort. Anytime I get into a slump with women, end a relationship, get dumped, or just need an ego boost, this game works like no other.
To play I would suggest picking a decent club that has at least 50-100 single women. Go there a little before it starts to get busy with about 3 other friends. It's important to dress well and show up in a positive frame of mind that you are going to have some fun.
All you need is a pen and one of those tiny notebooks. Have a few drinks before starting, but don't get hammered. In fact, I often make the reward for winning the game a free pitcher of beer or something along those lines.
On the way to the bar explain to everyone that you want to try something new and play this game. Your friends may or may not be interested in trying it. However, the key is for you to show them how much fun it is the first time, and they will catch on soon enough.
When I get to the bar I try to start almost immediately. If your friends are like mine, at least 50% of them will chicken out. They will say the game is stupid, there are not enough hot chicks to bother, it's too early, they want to get drunk first, etc. Basically they will give you 50 reasons why it will never work or try to postpone things.
I actually use this criticism for motivation. They say I can't do it, so I prove them wrong. Instead they would rather waste another night spending too much money, not meeting anyone and complaining about women. So I set off on my own or with the one friend who has faith and start the game.
Competition motivates me more than anything and the prospect of free beer doesn't hurt either.
My approach is simple and effective. I am overly polite, apologetic, down to earth, friendly, and thankful. There is no need to lie, use any pick-up lines, carry on a lengthy conversation or overstay your welcome.
Here is a sample dialogue from a typical approach in which two women are sitting alone at a table.
You: "Hi, My name is Jim. I hate to bother you, but I need your help with something that will just take a few seconds of your time."
Girl 1: "Yeah sure, have a seat. My name is Mandy and this is my friend Stacy."
You: "Nice to meet you Mandy and Stacy (smile, shake their hands, look them in the eyes). The reason I approached you is I'm trying to win a contest with my friends to see who can get the most phone numbers by 11:30. The winner gets (free drinks for the rest of the night, a ticket to the Lakers game, etc.) so I'm really just trying to get phone numbers as fast as I can. Do you mind writing down your name and number on this piece of paper for me? If you do mind, just make up a name and number that seems believable."
Girl 1: "OK, I guess I can do that."
You: "Hey, thank you so much for helping me out. Have a good night."
That is obviously a very abbreviated version of the conversation and is the most basic example of how to approach someone you really have no interest in dating or talking to aside from getting their number to win the game.
If you are truly interested in a girl there are many slight modifications to the above situation. I normally talk a little bit more and explain the game and how it makes going out more fun. It's easy to slip in compliments with this game because you are talking to so many people.
You can mention they have a better sense of humor about it than the last table. Or they are the best looking girl you have talked to all night. Basically all you need to do is imply that were it not for time constraints you would be happy to spend the rest of the night talking to them, and throw the rest of the numbers away.
This tends to make a great impression as long as you talked just long enough to learn a few things about them, but didn't hang around too long. If you stick around for 20 minutes they will assume your story about playing a game is completely bogus and not trust you. You have to get in, explain just enough to get their number, and keep moving.
I sometimes mention that they can put a star beside their name if the name and number they wrote down is actually real. This would indicate to me in a subtle way that they would not mind seeing me later or getting a call.
This game can evolve and change to meet the situation. The key is to approach each and every girl in the bar, not just the hot ones or the ones you don't feel threatened by. There will be large groups of girls, couples, waitresses, etc. Each involves a slightly different conversation and set of circumstances.
You learn to be very fast on your feet and adjust to how people react. If a woman acts nervous or clearly does not want your company, it's up to you to adjust your technique. Just tell them you have no intention of actually calling any of the numbers anyway. All they have to do is take a few seconds to write down what you need and they will never have to talk to you again.
By offering the option of making up a fake number and name they have no real reason to shoot you down over fear of giving that info to a stranger. Just tell them to make it believable (women tend to get a kick out of putting down stripper names like Candy or Jezebelle).
The idea is to win the game with as many real numbers as possible. If the girl is obviously in a committed relationship tell her to put down the name and number of one of her friends. If the boyfriend of a girl is sitting right next to her, approach him and explain your situation. No guy in his right mind would prevent you from winning free beer by getting upset about his girlfriend giving you a fake number.
For larger tables I tend to grab the girl on the end who looks the most approachable. Spend a little longer with this girl, and as soon as you win her over it's a safe bet the rest of the table will follow her lead.
Most women start out skeptical in terms of your true intentions and whether or not you were actually trying to pick them up. This changes when you quickly move to the next table and do the exact same thing. They can literally sit and watch you work the room like a professional salesman.
You will appear to be very confident in their eyes. The fact that you have an entire list of numbers and the balls to talk to every girl in the bar sends a very clear message. Any girl you later approach again will feel like she won the game because you chose her over the numerous other girls you could have gone after.
Now you are probably wondering what good does a list of fake names and numbers do?
Actually you will be amazed at how many are not fake. You will know they are real because the women literally tell you that as they are writing them down.
Remember, you are approaching every woman in the bar. A considerable number of them are in a rut just like you. They may not have had a guy ask for their number in months.
You were a nice, well-dressed, confident, open-minded guy who likes to have fun. Your approach was smooth and non-threatening. Most guys approach women after 6 or 7 beers when its later in the evening and they obviously just want to get laid. Therefore, you already stand out and make a good impression before other guys even have a chance. By having a huge list of numbers you are clearly someone that other women find desirable too.
They didn't come to this bar to buy overpriced drinks and dance alone anymore than you did. They put on that revealing dress and spent hours getting ready so that guys would approach them and they might even meet someone special.
I normally get in excess of 70% in terms of real numbers or at least women who want to continue our conversation and give me their real number later. It's a numbers game just like being a salesman.
There are many reasons why this game works. Its fun, easy, improves your skills with women, builds up your ego, and even if you lose the contest to a friend, you still win in the grand scheme of things.
It may start out slow, but gains momentum in a hurry. By the time you have approached the third or fourth table of girls a funny thing happens.
We all know women talk a lot. They go to the restroom together and start yapping about who they like and what guy just stared at them. They tell other women in the bar about your little game and ponder what your real motives are. People overhear these conversations.
Before long the word spreads and some women know your entire routine before you get to them. You were a refreshing change to the normal, boring routine of the bar scene. Don't be surprised when women actually start approaching you saying things like:
"Hi my name is Angie. I was at the bar getting a drink when you talked to my friends earlier and they said I should go over here and give you my number."
"Hey, I was a little surprised earlier when you asked for my number and didn't know how to react. I made up a name and number, but my real name is Beth and if you want I can give you my real number."
"I'm Jennifer. I heard about you and some contest. If you're still looking for numbers I could help you out."
I have even had shy girls sneak away from their friends and make me promise to call them.
On the surface it may seem like only the ugly women will get a kick out of the game, while attractive girls will think it's stupid. However, you will soon learn that most attractive girls are far too intimidating for many guys to approach. They appreciate your courage just as much as the 200-pound chick that has never been asked for her number and is totally flattered.
After you finish seeing everyone in the bar, it's time to head back to your friends. Look over your list and count up the total number. Decide who won and quickly hand out the prizes. If you played alone spend a few minutes browsing your list and making it obvious to your friends that they missed out on a lot of fun.
Enjoy the tremendous ego boost that comes from getting so many numbers and meeting so many hot chicks in such a short period of time.
An important facet of this game is to leave out your friends who put you down and refused to play. Now is the time when you go back and talk to whoever you liked best. Your friends will suddenly try to jump on the bandwagon and expect you to hook them up with some of the women you met. Don't do this!
You did all the work and put up with all their abuse. Let them sit there and shake their heads while you head over to a table of cute chicks and pick up where you left off. I guarantee you that the next time you go out together those guys will be begging you to play the game. Until then, feel free to talk all the smack on them you want. This is one game where there is no penalty for dancing in the endzone.
When you go back to talking to the women you can be much more relaxed and take your time. You already have such confidence that you will probably be smiling the rest of the night anyway. They will want to know who won and what your total was.
Resist the urge to brag about winning or how many women liked you. Tell the girl you like that you didn't play the game to start dating lots of women. It was fun, but meeting her was the real highlight.
Make sure you go through your list and circle her name and number along with that of any friends she is sitting with. This will help you remember names so you don't look like a drunk idiot. However, you have an excuse for forgetting names since you met dozens of women in rapid succession.
Ask her if the number she gave you was actually her real number. If not, she will probably offer to give you the real one right away. Tell her any interesting stories you have from your adventure and what made her special. Then stop talking about yourself or the game. Focus on learning all about her and keep your mouth shut.
At some point I usually symbolically throw away the other names on the list. This will show her you are genuinely interested in her and not trying to juggle several women at once.
A second option for winding up the game is to just leave the bar or quickly confirm you have the right number with the girls you liked best. This allows you to call several girls later without having to pick an obvious favorite.
If you got numbers from 50 women, it's a safe bet that 40 of them will at least be passively watching who you go back to visit with. It's a good idea to not put all your eggs in one basket by spending the rest of the night flirting with Angie, when you also liked Diane, Karen, Debbie and Rhonda.
Women are very competitive creatures that actually give you more action if they think they have to win you over from some other girl(s). I recommend spending no more than 5-10 minutes on a follow-up visit, unless of course you are getting the kind of signals that indicate sex in the very near future. If a girl questions why you have to leave so early just tell her you promised several people you would come back by.
* None of your friends is willing to play with you or you are out alone and want to play -- Modify your story to say that you just got out of a relationship and a friend told you this was a great way to jumpstart your personal life. If you are new in town that would also be a good excuse.
* A girl you approach expects you to buy her a drink in exchange for her number -- Tell her you are in a big hurry to get numbers because it's a contest with time limits. You don't have the time or money to go around buying drinks for every woman in the bar. Any girl who tries to extort a drink is rude and probably used to having guys fall all over themselves to impress them.
If you did give in they would undoubtedly buy the most expensive drink possible and make you look like a fool. If you give them money for drinks they might even use it to buy some other guy a drink right in front of you (I bartended for 3 years and have seen it happen).
Bottom line they are not worth wasting your time talking to. Would you expect someone to buy you a drink because they borrowed your lighter? What you are asking for is no more of an inconvenience. Move on and forget them. They will have to respect you then and may even approach you again later and say they were just kidding.
* The bar you are in is too loud to talk to people -- This is a common problem with dance clubs and other places that women frequent. That's why selecting the proper venue is very important. There is no rule preventing you from playing the game at multiple bars throughout the night. Most places have several areas that are more quiet. Near the restrooms is a great place because you know everyone will go there at some point in the evening.
* A girl you really liked will be leaving before you finish the game -- Besides complimenting girls you especially liked, I suggest asking their plans for the evening. Mention that as soon as you finish the game you might like to join them again.
If they like you and are leaving soon they will probably volunteer information about where they are headed next or tell you to give them a call. They may even be willing to go on a date with you or mention an upcoming party you are invited to.
* Upon finishing the game you are not sure who to approach again -- This is a skill that comes with experience. However, I suggest taking a stroll through the bar as soon as you finish up. Since you already talked to lots of women the ones that like you will go out of their way to make eye contact with you again. Walk past all the women again as you head to the restroom or get a beer. Any that smile and make eye contact are definitely interested.
* A girl you don't find attractive pursues you after the game ends -- I can almost guarantee this will happen if you play more than once. It can get annoying when you want to go back and talk to a cute girl only to be intercepted by someone you have no interest in. This is a perfect chance for you to introduce your friends and excuse yourself to the restroom, never to return.
Your friends who refused to play are forced to "jump on the grenade" while you move on to better things. Just seeing the look on the faces of your friends when you pull this one off is priceless. To the victor go the spoils of war. You have plenty of other women to talk to as a reason for being gone. They are stuck talking to her to be polite.
* A girl tells you the game is stupid or implies that you are a loser -- While this may seem to be a distinct possibility I have never had it happen.