How Women Decide Which Men to Sleep With
Have you ever heard something like...
"A woman decides within the first 30 seconds of meeting a guy if sheís going to sleep with him"
Iíve heard a lot of things like this over the past few years from men and women alike, so I decided to try to figure out if this idea was actually true... and, even more importantly, how a woman actually comes to this important decision so quickly.
Well, the bad news is that Iíve never found the direct answer to this question!
There are a lot of people out there who suspect that women make the decision about sleeping with a man within the first 30 seconds (or first few minutes, or whatever), but Iíve found no "research" at all on the subject.
But the good news is that in the process of trying to find an answer to this question...
Iíve discovered some amazing things that I believe will help any man be more successful with women.
What Iím about to share with you is my personal opinion based on my personal experiences. This is not the result of a 25 year exhaustive double-blind study involving the mating patterns of a million women.
So donít write in to me saying "Yea, youíre right except for times when itís a full moon, and the woman is wearing red and sheís taller than you at the same time..."
What Iím about to share with you is a generalization, meaning that the concept is generally true in most situations. I just happen to believe that this particular generalization is very accurate, and will help you increase your success with women dramatically (if you understand it and use it).
My personal opinion is:
Women donít decide within the first 30 seconds of meeting a guy if sheís going to sleep with him. Instead, women know within the first 30 seconds of meeting a guy if theyíre *not* going to sleep with him... or if theyíre going to stay open to the idea.
In other words:
- Itís not that a woman decides "Yes, Iím going to sleep with him" at first. Women will tend to make the decision "No, I would never sleep with him" almost instantly, but the only "decision" a woman makes in the beginning is whether or not sheís going to stay open to the idea long enough to get to know a man better and find out.
- This whole process isnít a "decision" at all. Instead, a woman makes the actual "decision" after she feels a feeling or an emotional response to a man. She makes the choice based on the unconscious emotional response that she has initially.
This initial decision of whether to continue interacting with a man is mostly unconscious, and mostly based on a manís body language and voice tone, and not on what heís actually saying (pick up lines, etc.).
Once you do capture the attention of a woman long enough to make her want to get to know you better, itís important that you do certain things to make sure that her attraction to you continues to get stronger and stronger.
If you donít understand this process, and know how it all fits together, youíll probably find yourself "dropping the ball" and making mistakes that cause women to eventually stop talking to you or want to be "just friends" most of the time.
Women (and humans in general) make most decisions based on how they feel at the time. If you want a woman to make the decision to sleep with you at some point, youíre going to have to figure out how to get her to feel that all-important magical emotion called attraction... and then youíre going to have to help amplify it. When a woman says "...and thatís when I decided I was going to sleep with him..." what sheís really saying is "...and thatís when I really started to feel a strong emotional attraction to him..."
So the question that every guy is asking is...
"What do I do so that women donít mentally put me into the "NO" category, and instead put me into (and keep me in) the "YES" category?
Thatís a great question to ask!
The reason that this question is so difficult to answer is that the answer comes in a couple of parts.
The first part of the answer is:
"In the very beginning, when you first meet a woman, it is very important that you understand subtle body language, how women select men, what cues women look for to detect insecurity and fear, and what beliefs you must have."
And the second part of the answer is:
"After youíve started interacting with a woman, there are many critical moments that come up, from making the first date to kissing to "getting physical", and you must know what to do at each stage to make things smooth and to transition easily from one step to the next."
Both are key.
If you only understand the "inner game" of how women are attracted to men, but you donít understand the "outer game" of how to move from one step to the next, you will probably not succeed very often. You wonít be ready for things as they come up, and youíll make a mistake somewhere along the line that will bounce you into the "friend" zone.
On the other hand, if you only understand the "outer game" of techniques, pickup lines, etc., but not the inner game, then youíll probably never get the opportunity to use most of your techniques because most of the women that you interact with will unconsciously reject you within the first minute or two of meeting because you "donít get it".
I know that Iím going deep here, but stay with me.
Hereís my recommendation about how to get both of these areaís handled, and...
To rapidly increase your personal success with women
- Learn more about how ATTRACTION works, and less about "pickup lines" and other techniques at first.
- Spend most of your time in the beginning improving things like posture, eye contact, voice tone, and other body language.
- Remember that women arenít deciding "yes, Iím going to sleep with this guy" in the first 30 seconds, but they are deciding "No, Iím not" very quickly! So stop doing the things that put you into the "not" category, and start doing the things that make women want to find out more and that create attraction.
- Pay close attention to what successful guys are doing with women. Go watch them with your own eyes to see and learn.
- While youíre first learning, keep an open mind, and donít let any particular challenge stop you from improving.
I spent a couple of years stumbling around trying to figure out what worked with women. I tried just about every wild idea that you can imagine. Most of it didnít work.
It was only after meeting a lot of guys who were very successful with women that I began to really have a lot of success with women myself.
When you spend time listening to and learning from someone who has been there before you, and who knows what to do in every situation, you learn a lot.
I recommend that you do the same. Find some guys where you live that are successful with women, and learn what they do. Sure, it might take some effort to find them and make friends, but itís worth it.
If youíd like to get on the fast track, and really learn from some amazingly successful guys, I suggest that you check out my Ebook and Advanced CD Series.
In that program, not only do I share all the nuts and bolts of how to be successful with women, I also interview several of my friends... who are some of the best Iíve ever seen with women.
Again, itís taken me literally YEARS to find and make friends with all of the guys I know who are great at attracting women, and you can have the advantage of hearing exactly how they think and what they do.
It will literally blow your mind when you hear the amazing stuff that they share... everything from how to give a woman a "million dollar" date experience for under ten bucks... all the way to how to meet women online from the comfort of your computer... and everything in between.
And when you go to the website, make sure and listen to all of the samples... thereís some great stuff there. Itís all at:
And Iíll talk to you again soon.
Copyright 2011 David DeAngelo Communications Inc., All Rights Reserved. "David DeAngelo" and "Double Your Dating" are trademarks used by David DeAngelo Communications Inc.