Ways Women Castrate Men
Every man reading this newsletter knows that fighting with a woman can be one of the most unpleasant things in life. What starts out as a simple "misunderstanding" too often turns into World War III. While it's easy and fun to blame women for causing problems (and yes, they often do), you are often just as responsible for the conflict as she is.
Once you are able to clearly identify some of the predictable causes of conflicts, you'll have an easier time avoiding them. You'll also have a deeper understanding of your own reactions when you enter into a conflict with a woman.
1. Why women feel they have the right to be angry.
One piece of the puzzle is that women can be incredibly angry and resentful. So when you enter into a conflict with a woman she then feels as though she has the right to be as mean and nasty as she wants to be.
One reason she feels this way is that most women were raised to suppress their anger and to be quiet, polite, etc. So when they grow into women they feel as though they have a lifetime of anger to express on any man who will take the punishment.
2. Women take their anger out on the men they like the most.
While it sounds downright wacky, women tend to express their anger at the men they like the most. Think about it this way: Women can only express anger and feel free to show the meanest and most ugly parts of themselves to men they really trust.
As much as it sucks to have a woman you like being angry and attacking you, she probably feels free enough with you to express that part of herself because she cares about you and trusts you.
Are we saying you should let her beat the sh*t out of you? No way, Jose. We're saying that most men do not know how to handle an angry woman, and it might give you some comfort, in the face of a woman's attack, to know that she is doing this, in part, because she trusts you.
Furthermore, women often test men to see how committed they are, and how safe it is for them to express themselves, by being angry. Women do this to see how you react. Do you yell back? Do you run away? Their attack is a test to see how you react.
When we refer to castration, we are not talking about Lorena Bobbit and her escapades. By castration we are referring to ways in which women attack men at the level of their masculinity.
While you might start a conflict with a woman out of pure stupidity or insensitivity, and keep it on that level, when a woman is angry with you she will often attack you at a much deeper level--your manhood, your pride, your confidence, and your sense of feeling like "the man."
When a woman castrates you she goes right for your balls. It's a way for a woman to cause you to feel inadequate, guilty, and that you don't measure up. One sign that a woman has castrated you is that instead of reacting with anger or rage you'll feel lethargic, tired, or even apathy. In other words, you'll feel defeated.
We all know the feeling of being totally exhausted and drained when fighting with a woman. It's a sign of castration.
When a woman castrates you, she is crying out for one of two things: she either wants attention, or she has something to tell you but doesn't know how to express herself. In either case she uses castration to get your attention and to take her frustrations out on you.
It's important for you to understand the three basic forms of castration so that you can quickly spot when a woman is castrating you. From there, you'll be able to see the attack and decide how to react, or NOT to react.
The Three Types of Castration
1. Frontal Castration
In a Frontal Castration, a woman insults you in front of other people.
This is a powerful way to humiliate you and embarrass you in public. One component of this castration is that since there are other people around you, it leaves you feeling stuck because you do not want to cause a scene, and yet you do not want to let her continue to attack you.
Solution: if she doesn't stop, leave the situation and try to talk to her in private. If she's unwilling to do that, go home.
2. Blind Spot Castration
Blind Spot Castration happens when you are feeling really good about a woman, and she gives you a compliment about something, and you feel very connected to her and happy, but then she quickly criticizes you.
For example, you bring a woman flowers. She is really excited to have them, and puts them into a vase. But then she says, "you brought me lilies, I told you I only like roses." Another example: You take a woman to a restaurant and have a romantic time. You're getting along great, laughing, and you then walk her to your car to move onto the next stage of the date.
When you get into the car the woman a woman kisses you and tells you what a great time she had, but also says, "It's too bad the people near us were so loud." In these examples you are feeling strong, you're happy that the date is going so well, and then you end up feeling responsible, and that you failed.
Solution: know that you did do a good job in setting up the date and do not let this minor setback destroy the entire date. Remember, things were going well a few minutes ago and you can get things back on track.
Also, see her use of this method of castration as information about her. If a woman is never happy with the things you buy for her or the places where you take her, she might not be worthy of your time--no matter how hot she is.
3. Bear trapping castration
This is the most common form of castration. In bear trapping castration, the issue is that nothing you can say will make any difference to a woman.
One of the ways a man shows he cares about a woman is by offering solutions to her problems. So if a woman is having a problem with someone at her job, or is having a problem with her car, a guy wants to help out and help her find a solution.
When a woman uses the bear trapping method of castration she rejects any or all of your solutions to her problems and tells you your ideas are useless. You are castrated by never being able to make a difference for the woman, no matter how hard you try and no matter what you do.
Solution: you need to let women have their problems. You can try to help them and offer solutions, but recognize that they often love their problems. If you take away their problems you can then easily BECOME the problem.
End the castration!
Ron and David are dating coaches. How to Succeed With Women has sold over 40,000 copies. They have been featured in magazines such as Cosmopolitan, Playboy, YM, Maxim, GQ UK, Swank, Gallery, and Players. They have also been on the Rosanne Barr Show, the Issac Hays show, To Tell the Truth, Fox News, CNN, UPN, and ABC.